But like the Nice Guy, the Braves have deep goodness, but no greatness.

They have flaws, but they're not large or disturbing enough to be strangely attractive. After a decade-and-a-half, the Braves themselves must know by now that when it comes time for the Homecoming dance, the girl they asks out will tell them they're so nice, but that she just told another guy a few minutes ago she'd go with him. A guy who looks a lot like Derek Jeter.

Yes, the Braves are just so close to getting the girl, but it never quite happens. As evidence of the Braves' inability to score, look at their record in one-run playoff games during the division-title streak — 18-27. Even worse, breaking out their five World Series appearances, that one-run record is 5-12. Four of the one-run losses came in just one World Series — 1992, to Toronto.

Three of the one-run victories came over Cleveland in the 1995 World Series, the only one won by the Atlanta version of the Braves. (The Braves' two previous Series titles happened when the team was elsewhere — one apiece in Boston and Milwaukee). The only other two one-run wins came in Atlanta's first World Series, in 1991, against Minnesota. You know, the one where the Braves lost that 1-0, 10-inning Game Seven after being outshone by Twins pitcher Jack Morris, not afflicted by Nice Guy Syndrome, given his view on women reporters in the locker room: "I don't talk to women when I'm naked unless they're on top of me or I'm on top of them."

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Sometimes the problem for the Braves was the bullpen, sometimes it was the starting pitching, sometimes it was the hitting, but it was always something — something boring. The losses weren't because a gimpy first baseman let a ball through his legs or because some wild-thing reliever gave up a Series-winning home run. They just lost. It's hard to build a cult of cursed-but-noble losing out of a pattern of humdrum 5-3 defeats.

Unfortunately for the Braves, the 2005 playoffs don't appear to be any different from the previous seasons. Atlanta appears to be in position to be good enough for the playoffs, and just good enough to lose, what with all those rookies, and a questionable bullpen.

Congratulations on your 14 straight division titles, Atlanta Braves. But please excuse us as we cast our glance elsewhere. Really, it's our fault, not yours. Stay sweet.

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