Excuse me? He wants to test people who exhibit aggressive behavior? Is Lynch aware of what goes on during the modern American political campaign? Using his logic, Lynch’s colleagues on both sides of the aisle must have been injecting each other in the buttocks for years. Whenever you hear “closed session of Congress,” that must mean the juice is flowing and the bathroom stalls are full. The number of swollen craniums and shrunken testicles in the House and Senate surely is staggering.

Lynch also called the NBA’s steroid testing policy “pathetic.” I can’t say I can argue with him. Besides, Lynch is probably an expert on pathetic, since he recently watched his Celtics lose in the first round again.

This illustrates the problem when politicians step out of their bailiwicks in order to score points in a popular arena. They wind up looking foolish and ignorant. For instance, everybody knows the volcanic aggression associated with steroids conflicts with the buzz obtained from marijuana use, which is why the NBA should be exempt from these hearings.

But why are they getting involved in the first place? Is there a groundswell of public opinion demanding action? Is there a clear and present danger to our national security?

No. The reason politicians are getting involved is because it’s easy. There’s little or no downside. There isn’t a special interest group representing BALCO offering them free golf vacations and giving them pause. There is no one from the steroids lobby pressuring them on a key vote. Coming out strong against steroids takes the kind of political gumption needed to come out hard against terrorism. It gives Congress an opportunity to show the folks back home that when difficult issues arise, it will avoid those and tackle the no-brainers.

Granted, the sports leagues themselves have been spectacularly inept in policing themselves, so they invited this scrutiny. But these hearings are overkill. They aren’t dog-and-pony shows. More like kennel-and-stable.

Naturally, while Congress spends so much time on steroids — this week, the Senate Commerce Committee gets involved; could the Federal Reserve and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service be far behind? — more pressing issues get ignored. Our elected officials have rolled out of their hammocks long enough to pontificate about steroids, thereby reducing the amount of their work day devoted to health care, Iraq, prescription drugs for seniors, energy and homeland security, to name but a few.

Again, I use the term “work day” loosely, although then again, you wake up, play tennis, have your photo taken with a bunch of teenagers from your district, suck down a slab of beef and a few martinis, do a five-minute radio interview, hit on an attractive staffer or two,  greet a lobbyist, count the cash in the special envelope the lobbyist gave you, and then attend an embassy party and tell me you wouldn’t be whipped.

Actually, it’s hard to believe politicians could keep up a schedule like that without the use of performance-enhancing substances.

Maybe we have it backward. Maybe our sports leagues should be investigating them.   

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