Ten best ways to fill out those brackets
Ignore all other advice — here's how you'll win office pool
Robin Scholz / APIllinois and Luther Head might not be a rock-solid pick for the NCAA Tournament, writes NBCSports.com's Michael Ventre.
Hot stuff
It is tempting to predict a team to win it all based on the fact that it won its conference tournament. Stick with a hot team, right? Well, not exactly. Connecticut won the whole enchilada last year after winning the Big East tournament. But five of the other six top conference tournament winners were out before the Sweet Sixteen. Of the last 10 NCAA champions that played in conference tournaments, only five won theirs. Usually, the teams that win conference tournaments are the ones motivated to do so, the ones that absolutely have to win to ensure NCAA berths or improve their seeds. The ones who don’t really need to win don’t try as hard in conference tourneys, therefore they lose, knowing they’re going to the Big Dance anyway. So the lesson here is, when filling out your brackets and considering teams that participated in conference tournaments, put your faith in lazy, unmotivated slugs.
Red states/blue states
I know. You miss the nasty, vitriolic, mean-spirited contentiousness of the presidential election. Well, who says you have to go without? College basketball teams can be just as ruthless. If you’re picking between two blue state teams — say Illinois against UCLA — go with the candidate that hasn’t flip-flopped all year. If the choice is between two red state teams — Cincinnati versus Duke, for example — go with the candidate with the snootier lineage. But if there’s a duel between a red state team and a blue state team — let’s say North Carolina versus Pittsburgh — I’m afraid you’re on your own. Whichever team you go with, be warned that the game would probably be decided on a disputed call.
Delete the geeks
About this time of year, you will start to see “experts” that you’ve never heard of before popping up on television. They will speak eloquently and will dress nattily, creating the impression that they are professionals and know what they’re talking about when they make their tournament predictions.
You will be tempted to follow their advice. But don’t. Ignore these people at all costs. They don’t know any more than the guy who works the Slurpee machine at your neighborhood 7-Eleven. They still live in their parents’ house, and the NCAA tournament is their Dungeons & Dragons. So to paraphrase George Costanza: If everything they say is wrong, the opposite must be right. Go with the exact opposite of everything they suggest and you will at least finish in the top three in your pool.
Upset specials
The NCAA Tournament is notoriously unpredictable, yet most people fill out their brackets as if they’re buying insurance, careful about every little detail. That may not fit your personality. You may be the adventurous type who likes hang-gliding, blind dates and eating sushi from a can. In that case, take some chances. Keep in mind that no No. 16 seed has ever toppled a No. 1, but there’s always a first time. Players from teams like Winthrop and Delaware State put their shorts on one leg at a time, just like Kentucky and Wake Forest, although it’s the part that comes after the putting on of the shorts that has been problematic. If you pick a string of upsets and a few of them pan out, you’ll be a genius. If they don’t, you’ll be a moron. And at this time of year, there are plenty of morons, so you’ll have lots of company.
It’s not automatic
When you hear that a team has received an “automatic” bid to the NCAA Tournament, it sounds like you should be impressed. Don’t be. Listen to some of the schools that received automatic bids this year: Eastern Kentucky, Fairleigh Dickinson, Oakland (Mich.), Louisiana-Lafayette. They are to the NCAA Tournament what Internet universities are to academia. These schools have as much chance of advancing past the first round as Gene Keady has of being named Vidal Sassoon’s man of the year.
Use aliases
Just to be on the safe side, enter five or six different brackets in your pool, using phony names like “Al from Accounting” or “Heather from Human Resources.” You’ll increase your chances, and for a relatively small amount of money. In fact, you can take it a step further and draw paychecks from your company based on these fictitious employees. With the added income, you can buy tickets to next year’s Final Four, assuming you’re not in prison by then.
Michael Ventre writes regularly for NBCSports.com and is a freelance writer in Los Angeles.
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