Some say filling out an NCAA Tournament bracket is like riding a bike. But for some, riding a bike means crashing into a tree, or being dragged for two miles by an oblivious truck driver. True, you never forget how to do it, but it can still be painful.

With brackets, there is a good reason for this: a lack of strategy. They have entire courses that teach students how to take the SATs, and they involve the use of strategy more than memorization of information, although writing answers on your palms remains a popular option.

Take the same approach when you fill out your bracket — employ technique — and soon you’ll be standing proudly atop your desk, your fists stuffed with greenbacks, waving to all the pathetic losers in the other cubicles who bragged about their basketball knowledge but instead found themselves listed under “Assclowns” in the final standings.

Men’s brackets | Women's brackets

Even if you know little about hoops and think a double dribble can be corrected with a bib, feel that dunking is easier if you break the donut in half, and believe that Michael Jordan is the king of Jordan, here are 10 easy tips for filling out your March Madness manifest.

And remember, I accept gratuities:

Balk at the chalk
In gambling parlance, the “chalk” refers to the favorite in any competition. There will be four No. 1 seeds, one from each region. But there is only one top-ranked team in the land. Right now it’s Illinois. Yet only three teams in the past 22 years have finished the regular season ranked No. 1 and went on to win the championship. So, if you’re the type who likes to play it safe — you always drive in the slow lane, put your money in a savings account earning 1 percent interest, etc. — then choose the other three No. 1 seeds to gain your Final Four and pick the Illini to bow out in the second round. Initially, you will endure verbal abuse and ridicule. However, that unpleasantness will quickly be replaced by the pure joy of frolicking naked through piles of money taken from clueless suckers. Usually.

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Star power
Nobody likes to look at a bunch of nondescript ninnies. For that reason, select a team that has at least one star, preferably more. But, you may ask, isn’t basketball a team game that requires the subjugation of the individual for the good of the whole? Answer: Where have you been for the past 25 years or so? Since 1979, every NCAA champion but one (Maryland in 2002) has had at least one McDonald’s All-American. Among the top teams this year that don’t: Boston College, Washington and Oklahoma. By contrast, North Carolina has three in Rashad McCants, Raymond Felton and Sean May. So think McDonald’s. That will help supersize your bracket.

Twelve is a “10”
That’s a “10” as in the very pinnacle of beauty and seduction. You might think that being seeded No. 12 in a 16-team region is a slap in the face. Actually, it’s a sloppy kiss on the lips. Since 1989, a No. 12 seed has beaten a No. 5 in the opening round in every year but one. Since 1999, four of them have advanced to the Sweet Sixteen. The trick, of course, is deciding which No. 12 of the four to pick. For that, flip the equation: Look at the four No. 5s and determine which one is most likely to choke. Usually it will be a team from the Big East or ACC that did the most whining about not being seeded higher.

ALSO ON THIS STORY Who will win men's national title? Who didn't deserve No. 1 seed? Who did? What is the toughest region?

Getting sentimental
Ordinarily, when there’s big money on the line, sentiment has no place in your predictions. But there are exceptions, and the NCAA Tournament is one. For instance, coach Roy Williams has never won a national championship, and he is regarded as a class act everywhere outside the state of Kansas. The rallying cry of “Win one for coach” can sometimes provide a team with an extra burst of momentum. Another case is Bruce Weber, coach at Illinois, who was not a popular choice to succeed Bill Self but who has propelled himself among the elite this year and is mourning the loss of his mother during the Big Ten tournament. But be careful to whom you assign sentiment points. Syracuse’s Jim Boeheim and Texas Tech’s Bob Knight are two examples of coaches who have long ago exhausted their allotment.