Last week I managed to accrue 141 fantasy points. That put my total on the year to 583 points, which is good for a world ranking of 930. I’m not one to usually beat myself up, but I made a huge mistake choosing last week’s team. I traded WR/LB Marcus Nash for Greg Hopkins.

Hopkins (love him like a brother) only came up with four fantasy points in L.A.’s win over Grand Rapids.

Four Points.

Meanwhile, my man Marcus set a bunch of records in the Las Vegas overtime win against Arizona.

He caught an AFL season high 16 passes for 192 yards and four TDs.

That extrapolates to 55 fantasy points!

If I stay with Nash, I hit it big for 192  points, but noooo!

I took Hopkins…

As I was mulling my misery the phone rang.

It was my beloved son, Ritchard, calling from college.

He wanted to talk to his daddy.

What a pleasant surprise!

I felt better already.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, Son.”

“Rough week for Hopkins, hee-hee-hee.”

“Yeah, thanks.” (Nothing like a little salt for the wounds).

“But,” I say, “I’m still ranked #930 in the world.”

“That’s not bad. I’m only ranked 582, hee-hee-hee.”

“What?”

“I got 180 points this week. Looks like there is a new leader in the family, hee-hee-hee.”

“Whatever, talk to your Mother.”

I handed the phone to my wife.

I couldn’t stand to hear that little “Muttley” laugh of his again.

So the stakes have gone up.

Last week I wrote about going after the leader, some cat named Thurman Thomas.

Thomas disappeared out of the top 50.

The new leader is a dude who calls himself Bill ORANGE Lyons.

I’m not worried about ORANGE Billy and his 726 points.

I’ve got to get my house in order first.

I checked up on it and Ritch has a 15-point lead on me, 598-583.

I’ve learned in life if you focus on the small battles the big ones will take care of themselves.

So here I come, son.

It will be me making that phone call next week, hee-hee-hee.

Here’s this week's team.

QB Adrian McPherson, INDIANA, 34.7 average, 5.11 salary.
Last week: 40 points.
This week: vs. GEORGIA.

McPherson is getting better each week.

He is the best ball carrier in the AFL.

In just four starts, he is second in the league in rushing yards with 128 and has seven TDs on the ground.

In Indiana’s first win last week over Austin, he was 11-for-20 with two TDs and ran for 36 yards and three scores.

And he’s only going to get better.

Ritch copied me and picked up McPherson a few weeks ago.

OS Damian Harrell, COLORADO, 25.5 average, 13.09 salary.
Last week: 26 points.
This week: at PHILADELPHIA.

Last week I went with Siaha Burley of Arizona and he came up with his lowest point total of the season, 21.

This week Burley and Arizona take on a tough New Orleans defense.

Ritch has Burley on his team.

My bet is that Harrell will have a bigger game against Philadelphia than Burley will against the VooDoo.

Call it a hunch.

FB/LB Dan Curran, NEW ORLEANS, 20.3 average, 5.85 salary.
Last week: 27 points.
This week: at ARIZONA.

Curran is the leading rusher in the AFL with 131 yards on 32 carries.

He also leads the league with 10 rushing TDs.

Ritch has him as well so this is a wash.

But it’s a good wash as Curran is the top point producer at his position.

WR/DB Jason Shelley, DALLAS, 29.2 average, 5.08 salary.
Last week: 26 points.
This week: vs. LOS ANGELES.

Shelley is having a breakout year for the Desperados.

He is an offensive specialist listed at his WR/DB position of last year (don’t tell anyone).

His line looks like this: 45 catches, 543 yards, 13 TDs, two rushing TDs.

As Dallas QB Glenn Gauntt improves, Shelley’s numbers will go up.

Ritch has Charlie Davidson of Austin.

Davidson’s line looks like this: 39 catches, 411 yards, 8 TDs, 0 TDs rushing.

Hee-hee-hee.

WR/LB Marcus Nash, LAS VEGAS, 31.2 average, 9.54 salary.
Last week: 55 points.
This week: at SAN JOSE.

Maybe I’m chasing my tail going back to Nash, but I don’t think so.

With Terrill Shaw out for the Gladiators, Nash has gone into the offensive specialist spot and his numbers have gone through the roof.

This is where I have a distinct advantage over the fruit of my loins, No. 1 son, Ritchard.

He has Etu Molden of Chicago.

Granted, Molden is a good young player on the rise, but he averages only 20.4 points per week and does not play the whole game on offense.

Sorry, son.

DS Lincoln DuPree, NEW YORK, 17.7 average, 2.26 salary.
Last week: 31 points.
This week: vs. COLUMBUS

DS T.T. Toliver, TAMPA BAY, 16.8 average, 3.55 salary.
Last week: nine points.
This week: at CAROLINA.

Both Ritch and I have figured out that these two guys play offense and return kicks.

These added points make them the top choices at defensive specialist.

I didn’t raise no dummies.

K Remy Hamilton, LOS ANGELES, 12.0 average, 6.10 salary.
Last week: six points.
This week: at DALLAS.

Hamilton proved he was human against Grand Rapids last week as he finally missed a field goal attempt under 50 yards.

Dick (Ritchard) feels -- and I agree -- Hamilton is the hottest kicker in the league.

Some of life’s lessons we teach our children are easy and painless, while others are difficult and agonizing.

Just remember, son, this is gonna hurt me a lot more than it will hurt you.

I’m only doing it for your own good.

Hee-hee-hee.