19. Kevin Durant spent the duration of the lockout making appearances all over the place, living like a “Stars! They’re Just Like Us!” photo spread: They play flag football! They visit truck stops! They get a massive back tattoo celebrating the state of Maryland! But now he’s finally back to doing what he does best: Turning the Thunder into a legitimate threat in the wide-open West.
20. Jimmer Fredette could become the NBA’s Tim Tebow, the uber-polarizing player who will endure endless scrutiny of his technique. In meme-speak, Tebowing has been defined as “to get down on one knee and start praying while everyone around you does something completely different.” Jimmering will be “to stand around helplessly while everyone around you plays defense.”
21. There’s a very real possibility that we’ll see Chris Bosh cry again.
22. The Knicks have clawed and scratched and Carmelo-ed their way toward relevance, hoping to build on their first 40-plus win season since 2000-01. The Daily News is already photoshopping Chris Paul into a Knicks jersey (with the cringeworthy headline CHRIS-MAS CHEER!), kickstarting another round of Paul-to-New York speculation and another round of 80 proof and ibuprofen in the New Orleans front office. (Seriously: Anthony and Paul and Amare Stoudemire? That’s terrifying.)
23. Jersey sales hope to rebound after a 38 percent drop during the lockout. I sincerely hope I’ll get to see my neighbor's scrawny arms jutting out of a brand-new “Peace” Lakers jersey.
24. After extra time away from the game, Kevin Garnett will celebrate his first pregame introduction by smashing a backboard with his face, eating a handful of glass shards, then running through the wall of TD Garden, disappearing forever and/or until a creature matching his description shows up in Romanian folk tales.
25. Being unable to watch any University of Kentucky basketball games without picturing each starter in whatever 43 button, quadruple lapel teal-and-taupe suit they’ll wear to the NBA draft. Anthony Davis, meet Toronto. Toronto, Anthony Davis.
26. It’s the NBA. And it’s finally back.
Jelisa Castrodale has learned a lot about life by making a mess of her own. Read more at jelisacastrodale.com , follow her on twitter at twitter.com/gordonshumway, or contact her at
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