The final clue was unearthed Friday in Tebowgate, and wouldn't you know it, the greatest Gator of all kneecapped No. 1A on that list. Steve Spurrier didn't vote for Tim Tebow on the SEC preseason all-league team.
At least, his ballot didn't say Tebow.
"I'm embarrassed by what happened," Spurrier said during the final day of SEC media days. "It shouldn't have happened."
The official story goes something like this: Spurrier's director of operations, Jamie Speronis, filled out the ballot two weeks ago and showed Spurrier, who then signed off on it without realizing the first-team quarterback was Mississippi's Jevan Snead. By the time the snub began to gain media traction, Spurrier asked Speronis on Thursday night about South Carolina's ballot.
The next morning, Spurrier called the league office to change his vote—and the last piece of a bizarre story, which prompted coach after coach to claim he voted for Tebow, finally fell into place. Only now it's more confusing than ever.
"It hasn't been much fun the last two days," Spurrier said after leaving podium.
It's only going to get worse.
The guy who began the decade by publicly chastising then-SEC commissioner Roy Kramer at this same event for the lack of a national playoff — while Kramer stood in the back of the room — was getting it back 10 years later. Whether or not you believe Spurrier's excuse for Tebowgate — and why would we have any reason not to believe him? — this was all some sort of cosmic payback.
Instead of talking about his team, Spurrier fielded these questions: Why didn't he fill out his own ballot? How did he expect Florida fans to react? Is he jealous of the success of Florida coach Urban Meyer?
Believe what you want — and it's more than odd that the best quarterbacks coach of our generation didn't look at the quarterback spot on the ballot before singing off on it — but there's a deeper issue here. The black hole of a job at South Carolina has finally gotten to Spurrier.
This is what happens when you try too hard to be relevant again in an irrelevant program.
It was Spurrier who earlier this summer stated on a radio show in Alabama that "there's a rumor down there" in Gainesville that if Meyer wins another national title, he's off to Notre Dame. So why wouldn't anyone logically assume that Spurrier — with his history of gigging opponents — is being Spurrier again with Tebowgate?
Is it really that far-fetched to think the coach who turned the stodgy, stoic SEC sideways at Florida with his innovative offense and biting bravado, is trying something — anything — to jump start a South Carolina program with 100 years of futility? This isn't jealousy or envy or regret for leaving one of the top three jobs in college football for a carnival huckster (hello, Danny Snyder) selling fantasy with a $25 million contract.
This isn't Spurrier turning his back on his alma mater or insulting Tebow — a player he has praised unsolicited time and time again — or some other ulterior, sinister motive. Maybe, just maybe, this is a coach pushed to the brink by a god-awful program that already beat down one Hall of Fame coach (Lou Holtz) and is well on its way to taking down another.
He stood at the podium for 30 minutes Friday, flustered and fidgeting like never before in a room he used to own. At one point, when asked about new Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin and his now infamous offseason of prodding SEC opponents, it was almost as if a door opened to Spurrier's desperate situation.
"When you're 7-6 like I am now, you don't have much to say," Spurrier said. "That's just the way it is. I'm just a 7-and-sort-of-6 coach right now. I don't have all the answers and don't pretend to."
I almost expected him to apologize for calling Florida State "Free Shoes U," or humbly state that, yes, he really was mean to 'old' Phil Fulmer and shouldn't have said you can't spell Citrus without U and T.
"I didn't sleep worth a dang last night," Spurrier said.
A few minutes before Spurrier spoke, the publicity department at South Carolina handed out a flyer promoting CampSpurrier.com, a new website to teach kids "healthy habits and football basics."
Hey, kids, don't forget to eat your peas and carrots. And fill out your ballot right the first time!
"I apologize to Tim Tebow," Spurrier said. "We screwed it up pretty badly. That's the way it happened."
It has to be. The alternative is too painful to continue to watch.
CFT: Former Penn State signalcaller Steven Bench joined the South Florida Bulls, he announced on Twitter.
CFT: The University of Nevada is honoring longtime coach Chris Ault, who stepped down in the fall, by renaming the school's football field after him.
Take a look at Florida's star quarterback on and off the field.
Video: Football from NBC Sports
HBO Real Sports: Bill O'Brien
Penn State football coach and 2012 National Coach of the Year shares the challenges in turning around a program shattered by scandal. Real Sports premieres Tuesday, May 21 at 10 p.m. ET/PT on HBO.
BCS title game
Pregame color, key plays and other moments from 'Bama's blowout win.
Check out the action from the postseason.
Check out which players were best of the best at each position.
Check out some of the college football cheerleaders from across the country.
The nation grieved for those hurt, killed and affected by the Boston Marathon bombings. After one of the suspects was caught on Friday — following a day-long lockdown and manhunt — sports returned to Boston over the weekend.