Hello, and welcome to the first look at this year's nightmare Armageddon BCS scenario, sponsored by the congressional delegations of Utah and Texas (motto: "screaming into the abyss since 2008").

The last decade has added this tradition to the usual smorgasbord of preseason predictions. Some of the motivation comes from misguided playoff proponents who believe that more December messes at the top of the standings would prompt the powers-that-be to deep-six the BCS. But the real reason is simple fun -- fans like craziness and reasons to get riled-up, and nothing stokes their emotions like a controversy around the championship.

So how's this for making those fans come close to "TILT"? Six teams will finish this regular season undefeated. A confluence of stacked teams with softer schedules will make for the biggest traffic jam in BCS history. Not even the annual potholes of injuries and upsets will slow this reality.

Here's the Big Six, from most likely to play perfect football to least:

Florida, SEC champs.
Look at the depth charts, and the popular talk is spot on — the drama is to see who meets the Gators in January. No team has been chiseled into the national championship game this early since USC in 2005, and the Trojans delivered by waltzing through 98 percent of that season and slipping through the tight spots. A lackluster SEC East helps the Gators; the return of Tim Tebow and a dynamite defense help more. Beat LSU, maybe twice, and then enjoy the trip to Pasadena, fellas.

Penn State, Big Ten champs.
Daryll Clark and Evan Royster bring stability to the backfield, and strong recruiting over the last few years will dull the loss of three offensive linemen to the NFL. Need a group to reconstruct a defense? Having Tom Bradley and Larry Johnson in charge seems like a great start. And then there's the schedule, which includes four nonconference gimmies among eight home games, seven of which will have PSU as a double-digit favorite. Penn State's playing in the Rose Bowl on New Year's Day again this season.

Oklahoma, Big 12 champs.

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So who wins the Big 12 South? Grab a daisy and do the "she loves me, she loves me not" routine with Oklahoma and Texas. Or maybe a Mad Lib — instead of (noun), it's (Sooners/Longhorns). OU looked like the better team in last year's Red River game until Ryan Reynolds' injury. It should be this time around, too.

And then there's this:
The Sooners can work through the kinks of a new offensive line and receivers in games with BYU and Miami, both away from home. Meanwhile, Texas won't be tested early on — an all-star team of the Longhorns' pre-Oklahoma opponents wouldn't crack the top 25. Flawed OU will get its rivalry revenge in October and a national title game rematch with Florida in January.

Boise State, WAC champs.
Here's reason No. 216 on college football critics' list of What's Wrong with the Sport. The Broncos, a proven top-15 program (ask Oklahoma) that loses about as often as USC, take their final exam before Labor Day when Oregon comes calling. A win, and Boise can samba its way to a 12-0 season and another BCS bowl. A loss, and the Humanitarian Bowl will draw well with the home team back in the game.

Boise State drilled the Ducks in Eugene last year, and the projected lineups look pretty equal. The Broncos will win on the blue turf — and keep winning into January.

Georgia Tech, ACC champs.
Here comes the hate mail from Athens, Ga., and Blacksburg, Va. Virginia Tech has emerged as a popular pick to join the 13-0 club. But the Hokies come to Atlanta in October, by which time Paul Johnson's triple-option attack should be thriving as the nation's No. 1 rushing unit. Nice knowing you, VT.

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Georgia comes to Atlanta, too, and there's not much evidence the Bulldogs will be able to tackle Tech any better than they did last Thanksgiving weekend. Look for Tech in the Orange Bowl with a top-5 ranking.

Notre Dame.
And here comes the flying fruit from the rest of the country. Charlie Weis was supposed to return Notre Dame to glory; instead, he's turned Notre Dame into a piñata. The Irish might be the country's biggest wild card — will they play like champions, or will Nevada's Colin Kaepernick and Vai Taua run wild in South Bend on opening weekend?

But an assessment of the Irish isn't complete without a look at their schedule. Of their 12 opponents, only three will be consensus picks to finish in their league's top three. Luck of the Irish, or genius scheduling by the ND administration? Probably a little of both.

With five seniors up front, the Irish will outscore most of their overmatched competition. Everything hinges on Oct. 17, when nemesis USC rolls into town (the Trojans have won seven straight in the series by a combined 284-95). Beat SC, and Weis can coach forever.

And the country can wade through college football's great championship mess.

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