Mike Celizic

FARMINGDALE, N.Y. - It is already an epic U.S. Open, lacking only an ark to complete the biblical air of impending disaster.

“It’s only going to get worse,” said Paul Casey after slogging through five holes of Bethpage Swamp at 1 over par before play was suspended at 10:16 a.m. But, he added, “It all adds to the fun.”

That was more true than maybe even he realized. With the weather forecasters predicting only one mostly rain-free day — Friday — between now and next Wednesday, this Open is shaping up to be a grueling test of the golfers’ patience, resolve and, most important, sense of humor.

If you can’t look this weather disaster in the face and laugh at the absurdity of what the USGA and this absurdly difficult course is asking you to do, you won’t have a chance. Not here in the swamp. Not this week.

USGA officials said their hope now is to make it through the first two rounds by the end of Saturday, which may be another day of heavy rains. The best they’re hoping for is to finish on Sunday after playing 36 holes. Realistically, it’s probably going to be Monday or Tuesday or even Wednesday before this marathon is over.

Just walking out on the course is depressing in these conditions. The sky is the color of wet cement, a gloomy overcast heavy with foreboding. It’s hit the ball, duck under an umbrella, wipe the grip, dry the hands, back into the rain, repeat.

Wet fairways offer no roll, converting 5-iron approaches into 5-woods and 3-irons into 3-woods. Already beastly long, Bethpage is probably playing at an effective length of more than 8,000 yards.

In PGA Tour tournaments, golfers are allowed to lift their balls if they suspect a speck of mud has adhered to them, clean them, then all but tee them up on a perfect lie. This is a concession that is not in the official rules of golf, and the USGA doesn’t allow it at the Open. Already, some players are grousing about having to hit balls with mud on them. Those players don’t have a chance this week. You can’t sweat that stuff, because it’s the same for everybody. Anyway, when you can’t leave the locker room without a pair of Wellingtons and a life raft, there are bigger things to worry about.

If you miss the fairways — good luck. The Bethpage rough, which is nastier than a Michael Savage rant, gets so heavy the ball feels like a medicine ball coming out. Jeff Brehaut, an anonymous golfer who found himself at the top of the leaderboard at 1 under after his 11 holes, talked of having to hit a 5-wood into the par-5 13th after his tee shot landed in rough so gnarly all he could do was wedge it out and into the fairway. He could laugh about the shot because he ended up making birdie on the hole.

The upside of that is that the greens are so soft they will accept a 3-wood and stop it dead. This isn’t the way Bethpage was meant to be played. It’s supposed to be firm and approach shots are supposed to bounce onto the greens and run to the hole — or past it and off the green again. Even full wedges don’t always stop when the greens are as firm as they’re meant to be. So some of the shots lost on the fairways will be given back on the greens.

But the odds are a lot of shots are going to be lost. Breaking par is not something that more than one or two golfers were expected to do this week. From the USGA’s point of view, the perfect U.S. Open is one in which the winner is also the only person who finishes the four days in red numbers. This year, it would not be surprising if no one finishes under par.

Padraig Harrington has won three majors — including last year's British Open and PGA Championship — but he never knew what hit him Thursday. Playing with defending champion Tiger Woods and Masters champion Angel Cabrera, Harrington was 2 over par before he had time to take in the ominous scenery. Their group made it to the seventh green before the USGA sounded the horns and called in the waterlogged field. Harrington, who was 4 over, was relieved.

Video   Lexus Day 1 wrapup: Part 2 June 18: Johnny Miller and Dan Hicks say the crew at Bethpage Black will have a huge challenge getting the course ready for Friday's action. NBC Sports

“It’s a new start for me,” he said. But, he added, the golfers who never had to hit a ball out here on Thursday are the luckiest people in the business.

“I don’t think there’s a guy who hasn’t teed off today that is not sitting very happy right now in their hotel room or maybe at the cinema watching a movie,” Harrington said.

Video   Lexus Day 1 wrapup: Part 1 June 18: Bill Patrick, Brian Crowell and Jennifer Mills break down the soggy first-round action from Bethpage Black. NBC Sports

For the fans — at least those sitting in the dry comfort of their living rooms — it will be a lot more fun than it will be for the golfers. This promises to be one of those Opens where every hacker can chuckle watching the greatest golfers on the planet brought first to their knees and then to their bellies.

It will be grueling. It will be harder than differential calculus. It will test these men like they’ve never been tested before.

If you’re a golf fan, you can’t wait. If you’re a golfer, you probably can.

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