Mike Celizic

The popular analogy for what Buffalo did when it signed Terrell Owens for the 2009 season is to say that the Bills put their money down and rolled the dice. But that’s giving them too much credit.

The craps analogy doesn’t work because in dice, you have an actual chance of winning. What the Bills did is more like doubling down on 19 in blackjack when the dealer’s showing 20. Unless you’re the luckiest cuss alive, you’re losing that bet, and everybody knows it.

Somewhere in the Buffalo front office, people are saying, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” This is what people say when they buy lottery tickets, and it’s true enough — if all you’re risking is a dollar that you’d just spend somewhere else. But when you or I buy a lottery ticket, we’re not planning our future on the prospect of winning. The Bills are.

The Bills paid $6.5 million for that chance. This isn’t a 50-50 proposition. It’s not 40-60 or 30-70. It’s hard to say what the actual odds are, since Owens is batting a perfectly imperfect oh-for-3 with teams so far. No matter how well he’s done on the field, he’s always left a toxic slick behind him in the locker room. No team has been better off when he left than it was when he got there.

There’s a track record here that the Bills are ignoring, and it’s going to come back to haunt them. They may as well lick their fingers and stick them in an electric socket. The effect is going to be the same.

The Bills aren't renting T.O. in his prime. It’s a 35-year-old wide out whose great skills are slowly declining. It’s a guy who is incapable of being a team player. If Jerry Jones gave up on him, who in Buffalo can change him?

Gregg Rosenthal Oddly, this makes sense Trent Edwards is a promising young quarterback, but he doesn't have enough weapons. T.O. will provide that — providing he doesn't blow up Edwards' career. NBCSports.com

The biggest reason the Bills should not have signed him is because he’s willing to take the job. Think about it. If Owens is willing to work for Buffalo, it’s only because he’s desperate for work.

T.O. knows he’s running out of options. When he had grown tired of San Francisco, he engineered his trade to Philly, refusing to participate in a trade to the Ravens, where he thought his great talents would not be fully utilized. After Philly, he went to another top team, the Cowboys. But after being thrown under the buckboard by Jerry Jones, Owens looked around and saw the top teams cowering behind lead shields lest he contaminate them with his presence.

With no other way to make several million dollars, Owens made it sound as if Buffalo is his kind of town.

We know that’s a blatant lie. T.O. is the ultimate glamour hound, and Buffalo’s glamour quotient is in negative numbers. “Desperate Housewives” stars don’t sneak into the Bills’ locker room to sneak a snuggle with a player. Jessica Simpson doesn’t hang with the quarterback. Phil Knight doesn’t have any of the Bills on speed dial.

Buffalo’s idea of gourmet fare is the hot wings at the Anchor Bar. This is no criticism of either the meal or the venue — the Anchor invented hot wings, and if you ever find yourself within 100 miles of Buffalo, my advice is to take the detour and get yourself an infusion of the best wings you’ll ever have.

It’s just that I don’t see Owens hanging out at the Anchor eating wings. And while there are things to do in Buffalo, it’s not where the beautiful people go for excitement.

Owens embracing employment in Buffalo is like Donald Trump welcoming the chance to build a trailer park. It’s not something he’s doing because that’s the only place he wants to be, but because it’s the only place that will pay him to do his thing.

More on: Terrell Owens | Buffalo Bills

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