Michael Ventre

These are just some of the trade rumors that circulated before the NBA’s trade deadline on Thursday:

Shaquille O’Neal to Cleveland for Wally Szczerbiak’s fat expiring contract; LeBron James, David Beckham and Kanye West to New Jersey in exchange for Jay-Z; Kobe Bryant to Mars for cash and future considerations.

None of those deals happened. In fact, very little activity occurred, which is just like the NBA trade deadline. I would even go so far as to compare the NBA trade deadline to a stripper: It will wink at you, tease you, excite you, reach out and beckon you, but in the end will leave you frustrated and unsatisfied.

On Thursday at 3 p.m. ET, there was expected to be a torrent of paperwork faxing through the league office. The NBA would need a bevy of freelance salary cap geeks to handle all the last-second calculations that ensure a deal could indeed be ratified. Fissures of unrest would jolt the entire basketball community as the balance of power shifted radically.

But instead, Rafer Alston went from the Houston Rockets to the Orlando Magic. That helps the Magic replace injured point guard Jameer Nelson. Now Orlando — an up-and-coming contender in the East, which probably didn’t have enough to defeat either Boston or Cleveland in a seven-game series anyway even with Nelson — won’t look quite so anemic when it gets eliminated.

The Alston trade was a three-teamer. The Rockets received guard Kyle Lowry from the Grizzlies as well as forward Brian Cook from the Magic. Memphis got a first-round pick from Orlando.

And that was about it. None of the big names mentioned in rumors leading up to Thursday — Shaq, Amare Stoudamire, Vince Carter — went anywhere except back to work with their current employers.

That means the Cleveland Cavaliers failed to pull off the Shaq blockbuster, which not only would have provided the team with added front-court power and experience against the Celtics, but it would have signaled to LeBron — who will be a free agent after the 2009-2010 season — that the club is serious about building and maintaining a championship-caliber team.

It appears none of the Stoudamire scenarios — he was also rumored at one time or another to be going to Cleveland or San Antonio or Portland — were ever close to happening. The Suns instead are obviously hoping that canning coach Terry Porter and opening up the throttle on the offense will change the team’s fortunes.

Most of the trade action that did occur was of the inconsequential variety, at least when it comes to actual competition on the floor this season.

In generations past, when a trade in sports went down, it would cause a young fan to exclaim, “Wow, this is the final piece in the puzzle for the home team to win it all!” Now when a deal occurs, it’s more like, “Wow, this allows the home team to shave millions off its payroll and avoid more luxury tax payments!” Alas, not quite the same level of excitement.

The Sacramento Kings, one of the league’s dregs, cleared about $10 million off its payroll for next season when it sent Brad Miller and John Salmons to the Chicago Bulls for Andres Nocioni, Drew Gooden, Michael Ruffin and Cedric Simmons. The Kings also swapped disappointments with the Timberwolves, sending forward Shelden Williams to Minnesota in exchange for guard Rashad McCants. (Calvin Booth also went with McCants to Sacto, and Bobby Brown was shipped to Minnesota.) This summer McCants will be a restricted free agent, which means he can sign with anybody and the Kings then have the right to say, “Take him!”

You get the feeling that if the trade deadline had been extended, Sacramento would have kept dealing until it achieved a payroll in negative numbers.

The Knicks are in a slightly different category of traders. They actually have a long-shot chance to make the playoffs this year, yet they have an eye on the summer of 2010, when several high profile NBA players — including LeBron James — will be free agents. So on Wednesday they obtained guard Larry Hughes from the Bulls in exchange for Tim Thomas and Jerome James.

Hughes will make $13.7 million next season, the final year of his current deal. The Knicks also obtained forward/center Chris Wilcox from the Oklahoma City Thunder in exchange for Malik Rose. Wilcox will be a free agent after this season. The Knicks now have some added firepower for a stretch run, but they’re also in position to shed some of the financial burden left by the Isiah Thomas regime.

NBA’s Feb. 19 trade deadline Special feature: 2009 NBA deadline trades Ventre: Deadline just another fan teaser Orlando gets Rockets' Alston in 3-way deal Knicks trade Thomas to Bulls for Hughes Wolves, Kings trade lottery washouts Chandler fails physical, trade nixed Bulls get Miller, Salmons from Kings Opinion: O'Neal helps Heat on and off court More coverage of the NBA

Also last week, in a bid to get the jump on trade deadline hype, the Miami Heat acquired Jermaine O’Neal from the Toronto Raptors in exchange for Shawn Marion. Toronto also got guard Marcus Banks and cash, while Miami received forward Jamario Moon and a future first-round draft pick. The Heat also got a $4.2 million trade exception.

Aside from the swap of bodies, the Heat will be able to clear more cap space for 2010. That’s when they’ll have a crack at LeBron, Chris Bosh — and their own Dwyane Wade.

Thursday has passed. The Lakers and Celtics are still the favorites to win the NBA championship. The Cavaliers and Spurs are worthy second-tier challengers. The Trail Blazers remain a year or two away from serious contention. The Magic is on the rise, the Suns are trying to regain their footing, the Kings are cleaning house.

Some things never change, deadline or no deadline.

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