Dad is an extremely private person. In his mind, if a problem arose, you kept quiet about it and sooner or later the problem would just go away. Psychiatrists earn handsome livings from said suppressed philosophy. Mark would later become a national disappointment for living my father's example of being such a private person. Mark even took it a step further by sticking his head in the sand at the Congressional Hearings while addressing steroid use in Major League Baseball.

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My high coincided with Mark's low. Injuries began to derail his career with back, ankle, and knee injuries. Plantar fasciitis served as the primary culprit. He only played in twenty-seven games in 1993 and forty-seven in 1994. When you get hurt like that, you start questioning whether you can come back. The negatives flooded him. He even thought about retirement. The idea of retirement made him more open to the idea of steroids. He'd been known as a home run hitter his whole life; he was making a good living, people knew who he was—one of the Bash Brothers—only he was hurt and his career was suffering. Nothing is worse than an athlete who's hurt. He knows he's better than anybody on the field, but he can't play. It's really frustrating. The fans are expecting you to go out there, but you just aren't able to go.

      Seeing my older brother in a fix made me want to help.

      Steroids promote muscle growth and healing, just what Mark needed. So I began selling the idea to Mark that steroids would boost his career. Major League Baseball did not have testing back then, and using the right combination of drugs would add muscle and aid his recovery power from the many dings and bruises of being a professional athlete. Clearly the use of steroids would allow him to avoid the injuries while adding the right amount of strength. I went to him and I said, "Mark, you have to do something about this."

      I wasn't thinking about altering baseball history; I only wanted to help my brother. I told him, "Mark, it's no problem to get the stuff. All you need is some cash and I'll get it for you."

      He definitely wanted to look into it.

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I put the idea of steroids into his head and educated him about their use. Jose (Canseco) really had nothing to do with it. So it does not make any sense that a guy like Mark would go in a bathroom stall and shoot steroids with a guy like Jose; Mark never trusted him and his character. Mark has told me that in so many words throughout the years. Mark has always acted the same when dealing with issues with his family, friends, or girlfriends, and even with Jose: if there is no trust, or if there's hurt, he cuts you off.

      We advised him to take low dosages. You don't want to just go and take a bunch of steroids and get huge, because it's going to affect your swing. There were a lot of elements to it. He gradually grew. He didn't become the Hulk overnight. He was educated about steroids.

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