Tom E. Curran • E-mail

‘Scuse me, but uhhh, didn’t you used to be the Jets?

No, seriously. I saw you two weeks ago. You beat the Titans, remember? In Tennessee?

Nope, I don’t think it was somebody else. Because I watched that game and I said — guys, back me up on this — I said, “That right there, that’s the team to beat in the AFC.”

Maybe I'm mistaken, but it looked like you. Same old, flip-flopper at quarterback playing smart and within himself. Chubby coach.

I know there’s a lot of chubby coaches, but it was your guy, I swear it. And you beat the Titans and then, last week another team that looked just like you lost to Denver. And I said — guys, back me up on this — I said, “That right there, that’s a fluke. A wake-up call.”

But then, same team. Or at least it looked like the same team — you guys — went out on Sunday and lost to the 49ers.

Yes, yes you did. You lost to the 49ers in San Francisco. And now you’re 8-5. I couldn’t make that up. Why would I make that up?

But you say it wasn't you? No joke?

Well then where are the Jets? Because we had an AFC East all sewn up tight right here, and ready to give to them and now they can’t have it.

Why not? Because they’re not the best team in the AFC anymore. And they’re not the best team in the AFC East anymore. Because they – you! – went out and lost to the 49ers while the Patriots, who spent the week hauling people out of nursing homes to play linebacker, beat the Seahawks. And they’re 8-5. What the ... !?

And that’s not all. The Dolphins are 8-5 too. Yeah. They beat the Bills by playing spectacular defence north of the border.

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Why am I lying? Because I spelled defense with a “C”? They played the game in Canada, man. Yeah, they beat the Bills at SkyDome, which is now the Rogers Centre.

Whatever. You’re 8-5 and so is the rest of the AFC East, except for the Bills who are 6-8. I know the Bills started 4-0. They’re 6-7. Yes they are. And they are out of it.

Who’s in charge now? The Titans. Yup. Sewed up the AFC South. Them and the Colts are running things, along with the Steelers. Yeah, the Colts are fine. They keep whacking everybody. I know they were 3-4 but they’re now 9-4. Yeah, six straight.

Is there anybody else, you want to know? Yeah, the Ravens are fine. They’re 8-4. Yes, with the Flacco kid, the rookie from Delaware. What do you mean, Favre has shoes older than that kid? I thought you said you weren’t the Jets?

Anyway, you — or whoever and wherever the Jets are — they have bigger things to worry about right now than Joe Flacco’s birth date. The Jets have to play the Bills, then go across the country to play Seattle, then deal with Chad Pennington and the Dolphins in season finale.

Yes it would be a good idea to win those two AFC East games. Because if you — the Jets, I mean — lose to Miami the last week then all three teams atop the AFC East will split with each other.

And you could all be tied for first.