John Walters

The Setting: A parallel universe. It is January 2009. A day earlier the first college football season to feature a playoff system concluded. Your faithful historian takes a look back at the season just concluded.

Finally! A playoff system in college football. And an African-American president. All in the same autumn. In the immortal words of Cy Young award winner Tim Lincecum, “Woo-hoo!”

Oh, it was fun all right. But before we discuss the national championship contest, let’s review how we arrived at that stage. Eight teams qualified for the playoffs, as the sport’s newly appointed Czar of Footballery, Skip Bray-less, had mandated. Bray-less’ first executive order was a dash of genius: dubbing the eight-team format “The Octa-gone”, a move that enticed the all-important MMA demographic while also succinctly describing the eight-team format’s lose-and-go-home (unless you lose a home game, in which case you’re already there) mentality.

Eight teams. The six BCS conference champions, plus one BCS at-large CS conference opponent, plus the most outstanding team from a non-BCS conference, provided said team:

1.  Wins at least 11 games.
2. Finishes in the top 12 in a poll conducted by no fewer than a dozen floating cast members of “Around the Horn”, “PTI”, “First Take”, “Mike & Mike”, “E-60” and “Two and a Half Men” (don’t ask).
3. Runs a zany offense.
4. Does not come from the Mid-American Conference because, after all, who wants to watch them?

The first round, which took place in mid-December, provided chills. Of both varieties. USC, the Pac-10 champion, hosted Ohio State, the Big Ten champion, in Los Angeles. There had been a concern, back in September that Oregon State might be able to pull off an upset of the Trojans on a Thursday evening game in Corvallis. But that never came to pass.

“We had hoped that the student body would be riled up to watch us beat the No. 1 ranked team,” said Beaver coach Mike Riley, who by definition is always riled up, “but not so. As one of them told me, 'Who cares? It’s just another Pac-10 game. All we have to do is win the conference. Just like we didn’t care last week when Penn State waxed us 45-14. Didn’t matter. Not a conference game.’”

So USC won the Pac-10, even though its supposedly vaunted defense allowed far more points all season than one might have expected. “Yo, as long as we win,” said Trojan linebacker Rey Maualuga, “and as long as you guys remember that there’s no ‘a’ in Rey, who cares? We don’t have to be special. We just have to win the Pac-10. And ... have you seen the Pac-10?”

Ohio State won the Big Ten after Penn State, who earlier in the season had defeated the Buckeyes, inexplicably lost to Iowa and Indiana. As the 5-seed to USC’s 4-seed, Ohio State returned to the Los Angeles Coliseum to face a Trojan team that in September had shelled them, 35-3.

Special feature BCS Busters Taking a look at the non-BCS teams that have the biggest chances of getting to a BCS bowl. NBCSports.com

In the days leading up to the game, there had been some concern that the Trojans might be teetering, having lost their final two games to Notre Dame and UCLA. Trojan head coach Pete Carroll dismissed such craziness — actually, he had Will Ferrell stand in for him at his press conference and do so.

“I wanted the Irish to beat us because I want Charlie Weis to be there for as long as I’m the coach here,” Ferrell, donning a wavy, gray-haired wig and a USC hoodie, told the media. “And as for the Bruins, we already had a two-game lead in the Pac-10 so I rested most of my starters. Did anyone even notice that our water polo team was the defensive unit? Oh, and don’t forget that Step Brothers is out on DVD in time for the holidays!”

USC beat Ohio State, 35-2 this time, to advance to the second round.

In another first round game, ACC champion Virginia Tech (8-4) visited Big 12 South champ Texas Tech and lost in front of a sparse crowd in Lubbock, 77-10. Nobody stormed the field. Just as nobody stormed the field all season long.

"A curious collateral effect of the playoff system is the dearth of field storming," ESPN’s Chris Fowler noted in front of the few dozen fans that came out early to watch "College Gameday" from Pullman in November. "Gameday" had journeyed to Pullman for the Apple Cup because, as it turned out, with no do-or-die games in the regular season, the year’s most intriguing match-up turned out to be the “Who’s Worst?” pillow fight between U-Dub and Wazzu.

"Students just don’t storm the field any more after games. I guess that’s because when knocking off Texas means about the same as taking down Iowa State in terms of conference standing, what’s the point?"

Added Fowler, "Erin Andrews has stopped wearing body armor."

In another first round game, SEC champ Florida lost to Boise State in Boise. The Gators were the higher seed, but a previously scheduled Rascal Flatts concert at Ben Hill Griffith Stadium could not be moved. The change in venue, as well as the 19-degree weather, appeared to adversely affect the Gators. Bronco running back Ian Johnson scored the winning touchdown in overtime, then got down on one knee and proposed to a space heater.

The final first-round game featured Big East champion Cincinnati (9-3) at Texas, the wild card. A few nay-sayers noted the Bearcats had already lost to the Big 12 South’s third-place team, Oklahoma, 52-26, back in September. As well as to Connecticut by 24 points.

"That’s just what makes this playoff system so awesome," said former Bearcats quarterback Ben Mauk who, at kickoff, was still petitioning the NCAA for a sixth year of eligibility. “Everyone deserves a second chance ... or a seventh chance. You know?"

The game was disrupted somewhat by a pregame protest by Texas undergrads in the biological sciences and engineering programs. Apparently, all those advocates of a playoff who always said, "If they can hold a playoff game at Mount Union the weekend before final exams, why can’t they do the same thing at Texas?" forgot that Division III schools don’t draw 100,000 cornhole-playin’, beer-bong swayin’ tailgaters for their games.

“It’s pretty hard to study in your dorm room when fans are burning cars in the alley,” admitted heretofore pre-med Caitlyn Summers. “So I fail organic chemistry. So what? I guess being a pharmacist would be cool. Or I could always hope to marry Quan Cosby.”

The national semifinals featured USC vs. Texas Tech and Boise State against Texas. Both games were played on New Year’s Day and drew so much interest that even the teams competing in the 17 other bowl games that weekend admitted to being captivated.

Special feature School spirit Check out some of the wild and crazy college football fans from around the nation. NBCSports.com

“Who are we even playing tomorrow?” wondered Arizona quarterback Willie Tuitama. “Who even cares? Honestly, I’ll be surprised if the stadium’s half-full for our game. It’s going to feel like playing at Stanford.”

Both higher seeds advanced, setting up an all-Big 12 South showdown between Texas and Texas Tech in Miami. And, after all, isn’t that what everyone wanted? I mean, could any contest between the Longhorns and Red Raiders that took place prior to the playoffs ever hope to approach edge-of-our-seats excitement of this? Not a chance.

“What I really enjoy about this format,” said Red Raiders coach Mike Leach on the eve of the championship, “was how we could just coast come November. We’d already beaten Texas and Oklahoma State, so when we visited Oklahoma, we knew that even a loss wouldn’t do much damage. And our final opponent, Baylor? In the past they might have come in all gangbusters, fired up to knock us out of national championship contention. But not this year. We’d already locked up conference. They hit like kittens. After all, what did they have to gain by beating us?

“Sure, the gamblers and the fantasy-league players (college football fantasy leagues sprung up like weeds in the 2009 season) were into it,” Leach added, “but me, I just didn’t want Crabtree to get hurt. That is why he played so sparingly. Saving him for the playoffs.”

And so, we all got what we wanted. A playoff system. No more debates. A championship game between two championship-caliber teams, Texas and Texas Tech. Tell me you’d see a game like the one these two played in the regular season.

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