Mike Celizic

This thought just in: Somebody is going to blow a certain playoff spot in the National League, and it’s going to be almost as ugly as the Mets’ all-time meltdown last year.

The candidates are the Cubs and the Brewers, and they’re well qualified for the job. The Brewers have never won a World Series and they haven’t been there for more than 25 years. And the Cubs have a century’s worth of losses packed in their emotional baggage.

Don’t think they don’t know it. The newspapers and electronic media are regurgitating all the stories of past failures. The Brewers are reminded almost daily that they once had an 8 1/2-game lead in the NL Central last year only to blow it all to the Cubs and finish out of the playoffs entirely. The Cubs are already hearing about billy goats and black cats and Bartmans and every other evil stroke of fortune that’s befallen them over the decades.

Last year, the Brewers blew it. This year, both could find themselves on the sidelines come October.

Let’s face it. Both of these star-crossed franchises have a lot of practice at this sort of thing. They’re good at falling apart in the clutch. It’s in their DNA.

Watching the Brewers and Cubs trying to get to the postseason is like watching someone with an inner-ear problem and poor hand-eye coordination walking a tightrope stretched over an alligator pit while juggling chain saws. Blindfolded.

It’s not fit viewing for small children and people with weak stomachs.

When September began, both teams were sailing serenely through the schedule, the Cubs 4 1/2 games ahead of the Brewers, and Milwaukee well ahead of everybody else fighting for the wild card. St. Louis was 11 games out and Houston was just a dim speck in the rearview mirror, 14 games behind the Cubs and 9 1/2 behind the Brewers.

Since then, both the Brewers and Cubs have been unraveling like a $2 sweater in a briar patch. Both are falling into panic mode, and with good reason.

In their last 10 games as of the start of business Thursday, the darlings of the North Side were 2-8 and Milwaukee’s finest were 3-7 for a combined record of 5-15. The Astros, who have been hotter than the surface of the sun, have joined Philadelphia four games behind the Brewers in the wild-card race, and the Cards are another half game back.

The Cubs remain 4 1/2 games ahead of Milwaukee, but that hasn’t stopped the veins from throbbing on Lou Piniella’s temples. Carlos Zambrano’s shoulder hurts. Also hurting is starter Rich Harden. Closer Kerry Wood has given up seven runs in his last three outings. Kosuke Fukudome has played himself out of the lineup.

In Milwaukee, it’s a sudden failure of the offense. CC Sabathia, the best trade-deadline pickup in memory, has been unbeatable, and Ben Sheets hasn’t yet imploded, but the team’s not scoring any runs.

But the latest antihero of the annual Milwaukee collapse was closer Salomon Torres, who boldly predicted that his team would not only make the playoffs, it would overtake the Cubs for the NL Central title. The night he said that, he blew a save against the Reds. That’s coming through in the clutch.

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The schedule does not favor the Cubs, who were reminded this week that Sept. 9 was the anniversary of the game in 1969 against the Miracle Mets when a black cat circled Ron Santo in the on-deck circle. The Cubs had been heading for a division title, but after the cat made its appearance, the Cubs folded, the Mets didn’t, and another miserable chapter was added to the team’s miserable history.

Chicago has nothing but contenders — Houston, Milwaukee, St. Louis and the Mets — from here to the finish. And just six of their final 16 games are at home.

Milwaukee has a better draw with six games left against the Reds and Pirates, but they also have six with the Cubs and four with Philadelphia, one of the teams chasing them. They finish with six at home, but they’ve got to play 11 on the road to get there.

It will be hard for both teams to finish out of the playoffs, if only because so many teams are fighting for two spots, and most of them have to play each other. But it’s not out of the question for the Brewers and the Cubs to go into their final three games in Milwaukee with one playoff spot on the line for both teams.

Fate would have a tough decision if it comes to that. Which perennial loser would you favor? The guys who haven’t won in 100 years, or the ones who haven’t won in forever?

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