5. Common sense
Don't know what it is, or why it happens. But for some reason, coaches use bravado instead of brains in crucial moments.

Case in point: last week's Missouri-Illinois game. Illini coach Ron Zook kept kicking to Mizzou return ace Jeremy Maclin. Why? Who knows. I was simply enjoying the view.

However, when your team has busted its tail for nine months in offseason conditioning, spring drills, summer conditioning and fall camp, don't you at least owe it to them to make smart decisions that can dictate the outcome of games?

Zooker isn't alone. Colorado State kept kicking to CU's Josh Smith. Hawaii kept punting to Florida's Brandon James.

Knuckleball kickoffs, pooch kicks and directional punting are not bad things. In fact, they may actually win you a game.

Maclin returned one kick for a touchdown, and returned a punt 46 yards to set up another touchdown (on the next play) for 14 points. The Illini lost by 10.

All of that, of course, after Maclin returned a punt for a touchdown against Illinois last year. A quick lesson from Mr. Einstein: the definition of insanity is doing things over and over and expecting change.

6. Hey, what about us?
With Florida and Miami stealing the spotlight in the state of Florida, USF and UCF had to do something to promote their game. So far this week, we've had:

• UCF officials inadvertently sending media to a sex phone line instead of a conference call with coach George O'Leary.
• USF QB Matt Grothe making fun of — are you ready for this? — UCF's new stadium.
• UCF and USF officials publicly bickering over distribution of tickets, with USF officials at one point calling UCF officials liars — then apologizing and saying UCF was right.

I don't care what happens on the field — and it's going to be all ugly, all the time for UCF — nothing can top the mental image of the media expecting hear the thick Long Island accent of big George and getting the sultry sounds Georgette instead. Or whatever her name was.

7. Helping hands
Did you hear that Clemson coach Tommy Bowden called Nick Saban after last week's loss to Alabama to ask what he saw in the Clemson team?

I'm sure Nicky was very gracious and made Tommy feel much better. Now if Bowden wanted the truth, he could've buzzed me. I wouldn't hold anything back.

Tommy: "Did you see any tendencies?"

Me: "You can't block. You can't tackle. Other than that, your guys look good coming out of the tunnel."

Let me set up the remainder of the Clemson season: win big over Citadel Saturday, win big over NC State, South Carolina State and Maryland, lose to Wake Forest, win out.

That's 10-2, a spot in the Gator Bowl vs. Notre Dame and another raise for Tommy. Any questions?

8. Recalculate, readjust
Look, I don't want to say I told you so, but ... wait, yeah, I do. Virginia Tech took its best player and sat him on the bench. Think about that for a moment.

Sean Glennon is a nice guy; works hard and is nails-tough. He's not Tyrod Taylor. Thankfully, the loss to East Carolina hasn't completely ended the season. The Hokies, as usual, have a stout defense under coordinator Bud Foster. And the ACC, if it's possible, is worse than we imagined.

In other words, hello Tampa!

9. Sizzling Stew
Don't you just love home-spun West Virginia coach Bill Stewart? I mean, really. His aw-shucks, gracious personality fits perfectly in West By God.

He's saying all the right things about East Carolina this week, heaping praise on Pirates coach Skip Holtz and talking about one of the toughest tests of the season for the Mountaineers.

Is there any doubt that, behind closed doors and before the team takes the field, this is the Stew WVU gets:

"Men, we're playing a quality opponent. Let's respect them and respect the game. Now, go rip their @&%$#! heads off!."

10. The Q(B) rating
Ben Mauck lost his last appeal to the NCAA this week, and it now appears the former Cincinnati quarterback will not play this fall. I ask you, who's more compassionate than the NCAA?

We'll let felons play every fall, but not those who we think lied about an injury in their freshman season at Wake Forest. Meanwhile, presidential blowhard Myles Brand will cash his million dollar-a-year salary and sleep well at night.

Makes me want to puke.

Back to the field: Cincy's non-con showdown at Oklahoma is all about the quarterbacks. The Sooners have one of the top three in the nation (Sam Bradford), the Bearcats have one (Dustin Grutza) who would've been replaced on the spot by Mauck — without playing a down of fall camp — if the NCAA wasn't so utterly useless.

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