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‘Hey Kobe...’ June 24: Shaq is back, on the mic. The NBA center freestyles at a New York club and has some choice words for Kobe Bryant.

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Most people who don’t know much about how sportswriters do our jobs are often fascinated by what we do and how we do it. On weeks like this, I am reminded what a great (and delightfully easy) job I occasionally have, and it’s always fun to explain.

I can’t begin to tell you how many times friends and family, acquaintances and total strangers ask me how do sports columnists come up with subjects to write about when they’re expected to produce four or five times a week.

My usual response?

All you have to do is wake up and wait.

Stuff always happens. Like raindrops from the clouds, a sports columnist’s meatiest subjects seem to fall out of the sky every day because in this modern 24-hour news cycle where little goes unnoticed or unheard, somebody always does something or says something weird, dumb, stupid, colorful, controversial, dangerous or destructive.

If you think kids say the darndest things, grown athletes do, too.

So I woke up on Tuesday with a plate full of craziness.

Look who’s talking now. We have shock jock Don Imus sputtering out some cockamamie double talk about Adam Jones, and baller/rapper Shaquille O’Neal free-styling some vengeful lyrics about Kobe Bryant.

We have golfer Rocco Mediate graciously tossing a friendly lifeline to NBC commentator Johnny Miller after Miller uttered some really dumb and offensive stereotypes during the U.S. Open playoff broadcast.

And lest we forget, we also had American soccer goalkeeper Hope Solo getting a little deferred vindication for her year-old tirade about a goalie switch in last year’s World Cup.

And all of this was on my plate before my morning coffee.

My, oh my, so many controversies, so little time. One of the more challenging tasks for the modern sports fan (and the drooling sports columnist) often is trying to separate the dumb from the harmful, the silly from the mean, the boorish idiots from the bumbling fools.

Controversy isn’t always bad. I am a child of the '60s, so I was raised on outspoken athletic stars who were bold enough to speak their minds, even if the truth hurt. I enjoy an athlete who ruffles feathers on the path to the truth, which is why I sort of dug the decidedly uncomfortable rant Solo dropped on us during last year’s Women’s World Cup. In case you forgot, Solo, who had been the quite successful starting U.S. goalie, publicly blasted the odd decision by coach Greg Ryan to bench her in favor of Briana Scurry in the semifinals against Brazil. After America lost 4-0, Solo let loose on an unfettered blast that estranged her from the rest of the team.

But Ryan’s decision was dumb and ultimately it cost him his job. So, on Monday, when the roster was announced for the Beijing Olympic team and Solo was named the team’s starter and Scurry and Ryan were not on the squad, it was the long-term vindication for the Outspoken One.

One person who has never had any problems speaking his mind is O'Neal, the 7-foot giant and future Hall of Fame NBA center. Usually, though, Shaq is colorful, playful and charming. But his freestyle show caught on camera by TMZ.com showed O'Neal in all his unflattering glory. He unjustifiably insulted Hall of Fame centers Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Patrick Ewing in one rift, blurted some ugly misogynistic rap in another, then proved he just can’t let go of his silly grudge with ex-teammate Kobe Bryant.

Appearing on stage at a nightclub, Shaq ripped on Bryant for failing to win an NBA title without him in a rift that began harmlessly enough with "You know how I be, last week Kobe couldn’t do it without me." But it ended with a vulgar request for Bryant to get an up-close and personal view of Shaq’s big butt.

More poignant words came later: "I’m a horse. Kobe ratted me out. That's why I'm getting divorced. He said Shaq gave a [woman] a mil. I don’t do that 'cause my name's Shaquille. I love 'em, I don't leave 'em. I got a vasectomy, now I can't breed 'em."

To me, whatever crude rap lyrics Shaq uttered, they only served to expose him to be a very immature man who needs to grow up. In the twilight of his career, and with faint hopes of winning another championship ring with or without Kobe, O'Neal comes off as silly and jealous.

While he hurt his own image, he did insure that the TV ratings for next season’s Suns-Lakers games will be off the charts.

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