Mark Spector

DETROIT - The Pittsburgh Penguins thought they were ready. At worst, they seriously hoped they were.

They weren’t going to be what so many people said they were: those ‘83 Edmonton Oilers, who were swept in their first trip to the Stanley Cup by the dynastic New York Islanders, one year before beating the Isles in five for the first of five Oiler Cups.

Two games into the 2008 Stanley Cup finals, however, the entire Penguins team is on pace to equal Wayne Gretzky’s goal total from that ‘83 Stanley Cup finals.

Zero.

“We have to change. We have to change something to come up with some offense,” said ineffective Penguins sniper Petr Sykora. “It seems like we can’t get a goal. They have a great defense — they suck you in, make a play, and the puck is in neutral ice.

“Our power play has to come up with a goal. We had a couple of chances (0-for-4 in Game 2) and we didn’t score.”

It is all too easy to bury these Penguins today. They’re down. They’re halfway out. Through 120 minutes of hockey they haven’t even executed the most basic tenet of the game of hockey by scoring a goal.

But instead, let’s look at what it will take for the Penguins to establish a foothold in this Cup finals when it returns to Mellon Arena, where the Eastern Conference champions haven't lost since Feb. 24, for Game 3 on Wednesday (8 p.m. ET, NBC). Let us dream the impossible dream, that Pittsburgh might somehow win four of the next five games against a Detroit team that has owned them, returning the Stanley Cup to Pittsburgh for the first time since 1992.

Close your eyes. Go to sleep, perchance to dreams that the Penguins can still win this thing.

So, where to start?

With an Act of God? Frankly, the Penguins would settle for an Act of Dog — that is, anything from their canine of a superstar Evgeni Malkin. He needs to do something to aid the cause in a series where he has one shot on goal and is minus-3.

“I thought his intention was there tonight,” Therrien said (with a large measure of hope) after Monday's 3-0 Game 2 loss. “We've got to keep supporting him, and eventually, players like this, usually they find ways.”

Sidney Crosby has been much, much better than Malkin, if not more productive. Perhaps all he needs is a bounce to turn things his way. Crosby is working his tail off, and is only minus-1 on a team that’s been outscored 7-0 through two games. He deserves better.

“We just have to execute,” Crosby said. “I mean, they got a few chances. Did they really get that many scoring chances on us? I don't think they did. They got a few and put them in, and we hit a post and pucks go through us by the net that we don't put in. That's the difference, to be honest.

“We're not executing. We get odd-man rushes, very few, but when we get them, we have to capitalize on them.”

One more place the Penguins could help themselves is in goal. Not by stopping the puck —  goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury has been pretty good at that. But if he were a real team player, he might score a goal or two.

Think about it: How many forwards block shots for him?

“I think we showed we can play with them,” Fleury said after Game 2.

No kidding. He really said that.

Maybe, the way they once doctored baseball diamonds to suit a ball club’s tendencies, the Penguins could slow the ice at Mellon Arena by opening the roof at the old barn. Hey — the Penguins won their last outdoor game, played at Buffalo’s Ralph Wilson Stadium. Why not?

The roof at Mellon opens — they just don’t do it anymore because they’re not positive they would be able to close it up again. But the Penguins are 1-0 under the stars, and what harm could come from slowing down the Red Wings by playing on mushy ice?

OK, seriously? Therrien juggled his lines after Game 1 and it did not work. How many more changes can he sell his players?

“We believe in what's got us here,” Crosby said. “I don't think we're going to change a whole lot. Besides getting more pucks in the net, I think that's always the key no matter who you play, but especially against this team, you want to get their defensemen turning, get some traffic...”

“Their intensity level was a lot better than the first game,” Therrien said of his club’s Game 2 effort. “We’re going back home and a place that we were tough to play against. We're going to try to keep skating, and hopefully with the work ethic by moving our feet. I've always been a true believer, when you've got speed, you can usually generate more scoring chances or you're capable to generate penalties.”

Pittsburgh is currently on their longest goal-less streak of the season: 135 minutes, 57 seconds. The last time the Penguins were shut out in back-to-back games was Feb. 12 and 14, 2003.

So maybe that’s the bright side for Pittsburgh.

Could things possibly get any worse?