Let's hope these guys aren't on steroids
A-Rod, Pujols, Manny, Jeter ... let's hope their greatness is plenty clean
Kathy Willens / APAlex Rodriguez on steroids? Perish the thought! We hope.
JOHAN SANTANA: The Mets obtained Santana from the Minnesota Twins in the offseason, then signed the fireballer to a six-year, $137.5 million contract extension. That not only makes him the ace of their staff, he’s one of the few Mets who is assured of not being connected with Kirk Radomski. While it’s impossible to know if Santana took steroids or HGH, the hope is that one of the game’s premier pitchers is indeed clean, and that he has also never attended a party thrown by Canseco nor has he ever employed a blabbermouth nanny.
ICHIRO SUZUKI: To my knowledge, a Japanese player has never been accused of steroid use, at least in the U.S. The Japanese maintain a high sense of honor, and the use of performance-enhancers would constitute a disgraceful and unforgivable offense, which is why Barry Bonds should retire rather than seek a job in the Japanese league. Suzuki hits for average and gets on base, which is not the usual M.O. for a juicer. Still, it’s possible that a spray hitter could be on steroids, too, just tiny doses. But in Ichiro’s case, I doubt it altogether. That scruffy beard isn’t a Tammy Thomas-like growth from too much testosterone but rather the result of a poor sense of style.
RYAN HOWARD: As many know, the fans of Philadelphia can be a little tough on their heroes. Donovan McNabb went from god to goat in the amount of time it takes to order a cheesesteak. I’m really hoping Howard hasn’t been using steroids or HGH. He drove in 149 and 136 RBI in 2006 and 2007, respectively. He had 58 homers in ’06 and 47 last year. He’s a 6-foot-4, 250-pound monster. He has all the requirements to be a Brian McNamee client. But there is no proof or suggestion he ever took steroids. He was not mentioned in the Mitchell report or implicated in BALCO. Just because he’s big and strong and can hit for power doesn’t necessarily mean he’s cheating. The fans of Philadelphia deserve to have someone to believe in, and yell at.
DAVID ORTIZ: Again, another guy who has not been named in connection with steroids, although rumors persist. His nickname is Big Papi. He smiles a lot. He’s an amiable sort with a glint in his eye. He’s well-liked by teammates, fans, the media and even opponents. He’s a superb power hitter. The slight problem with Big Papi is that he’s a little too big. In six seasons with Minnesota, he never hit more than 20 homers or drove in more than 75 runs. But when he came to Boston in 2003, suddenly he became a lumberjack. He has not hit fewer than 31 dingers or driven in fewer than 101 runs since joining the Red Sox. Hmmm. Let’s give Big Papi the benefit of the doubt, however, since there is no proof otherwise. Still, Roger Clemens’ numbers improved dramatically when he left Boston, whereas Ortiz’s stats shot up when he arrived there. That must be why they call it the Hub.
VLADIMIR GUERRERO: Vlad is not only shy, but he only speaks a few words of English, at least that’s what he tells people. He is the perfect target of steroids conspiracy theorists. He is ensconced in Anaheim, where there isn’t nearly the kind of media scrutiny that there is in key Eastern cities, or Los Angeles. He is low key and soft-spoken. It’s the ideal situation for someone who wants to inflate his numbers but not be detected. Yet Vlad has been knocking the cover off the ball consistently since his days in Montreal. He has never exhibited an unnatural jolt of performance. Most of all, he’s very close to his mother, Altagracia Alvino, who is a tough lady and would not tolerate her son cheating. The only performance enhancement Vlad allows in his body is when she cooks chicken in garlic, spicy pinto beans and dumpling soup.
ANDRUW JONES: The Dodgers signed Jones to a two-year contract worth over $36 million. His former team, the Atlanta Braves, made no effort to re-sign him. That represented a red flag among Dodger Blue. He batted just .222 last season for Atlanta, so if he was taking steroids, he didn’t take enough. Actually, it might seem like a risk to sign a guy for all that money who is coming off a .222 season. In this case, it’s just the opposite. The Dodgers can be fairly sure he wasn’t juicing with an average like that. Jones has never been a great hitter for average; he hit above .300 only once in his career. And his power numbers drooped considerably last year, to 94 RBI and 26 home runs. He wasn’t implicated in any of the high-profile scandals, but then again, with numbers like that, maybe no investigator thought to look. After the embarrassing news about former Dodgers Paul Lo Duca and Eric Gagne in the Mitchell report, the club would be wise to test Jones everyday, just to be on the safe side.
Michael Ventre writes regularly for NBCSports.com and is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles.
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