Jim McCabe

ORLANDO, Fla. - In the classic, laugh-a-minute comedy “Airplane,” Lloyd Bridges as air traffic controller Steven McCroskey sprinkles various lines throughout that 28 years later still resonate.

“Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.”

“Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop using amphetamines.”

“Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.”

We don’t know if Woods ever watched that movie, which was released when he was 4 years old, but the world’s most dynamic athlete surely could have mimicked McCroskey earlier this week.

When he required 29 putts in a first-round 70 that left him five shots off the lead, it was easy to guess what he was saying to himself: “Looks like I picked the wrong week to play sloppy on a golf course that really doesn’t thrill me anymore, especially with its lousy greens.”

When he hung his head after driving it wide right at the par-4 13th in Friday’s second round, it’s fairly certain he was thinking to himself: “It looks like I picked the wrong week to not agree with Elin’s request that I stay home to cut the grass and paint Sam Alexis’ bedroom.”

At that 13th, Woods didn’t even hit the hole with an 8-foot birdie try. Nor did he convert birdie attempts of 20 feet at the 15th, 15 feet at the 16th, or 13 feet at the 18th. It was a birdieless back nine and with trips of 70-68, Woods was in a tie for 20th place and seven off the lead.

That is why McCroskey — er, Woods — handed his putter to Steve Williams and muttered, “It looks like I picked the wrong week to not go back to Stanford for my degree.”

Yes, sir, it was all working against Woods. Having failed to finish inside the top 20 in any of his previous four visits here, it was suggested that Woods’ passion for the Bay Hill Club had evaporated. Through Friday’s second round, he had broken 70 just three times in his last 18 rounds and with this year’s greens damaged by a serious worm-infested attack, Woods could hardly hide his negative mindset, that he just couldn’t putt these things.

The poor guy was apparently just trying to get through four days and 72 holes with his sanity intact.

MOST PGA TOUR VICTORIES Player Wins 1. Sam Snead 82 2. Jack Nicklaus 73 3. Tiger Woods 71 4. Ben Hogan 64 5. Arnold Palmer 62 6. Byron Nelson 52

So, what happens? Woods wins. Again. He shakes off two lackluster days at the start, three rounds of less-than-inspiring putting, a serious mental block about the greens, and then, with crunch time delivered, he delivers on cue. A scintillating closing round of 4-under 66 allows him to break open a five-way tie and storm to victory at the Arnold Palmer Invitational, his fifth consecutive PGA Tour win.

A round of Gatorade Tiger drinks for everyone. Not to quench the thirst, but to wash away the bitter taste of the “truth serum” they’re going to make you drink when you say that you’ve come to the conclusion that it’s for real: Woods is going to win ‘em all this year.

The four majors?

Video   Tiger's amazing finish at Bay Hill March 16: Tiger Woods nailed an improbable 25-foot birdie putt on the 18th hole to keep his winning streak alive.

Well, yeah. And the other 12 or 13 PGA Tour events in which he’ll play, too. He’s going to run the table, shoot the moon, hit for the cycle. He’s going to have something that will probably make the morning orange juice taste very bitter for those 1972 Miami Dolphins: a perfect season.

Impossible, you say?