Mike Celizic

If Roger Clemens’ aim was damage control in his truculent and self-pitying appearance before a Congressional subcommittee on Wednesday, he failed badly. And for all the pious asides to due process and innocent-until-proven-guilty, it’s impossible to see a way that he can bluster his way out of the fix he’s in.

You can parse the day’s proceedings any way you want and call Clemens’ accuser Brian McNamee any manner of scum you want. At the end of the day, Clemens had no answer for any of the allegations against him.

The pitcher’s defense was that he had a tough childhood and a wonderful mother and grandmother and had worked hard all his life and was proud to wear “U.S.A.” on his chest in an international competition. But cut through all his rhetoric, including the responses whispered in his ears by his two attorneys, and that’s his argument: “I’m the great Roger Clemens and you can’t do this to me.”

Not much of an argument on examination, whether close or distant. If it weren’t for the fact he got himself in this mess, you could actually feel sorry for the guy.

Republican Congressman Christopher Shays was right when he questioned why the committee was piling on one of the 89 players named in the Mitchell Report while most of the other 88 got a free pass. Why, indeed, was Clemens alone on the stand other than to buy face time and credibility for the committee members?

And after several hours of watching our elected representatives posing, posturing, blustering and thundering, the viewer was left with little wonder that Congress has a lower approval rating than cockroaches. They’ve had 35 years to reduce our dependence on foreign oil, and we still don’t have a comprehensive policy. We’ve just had a report that Lake Mead may go dry in 13 years, and they’ve done nothing to curb unsustainable growth in that region. Yet they have leisure aplently to quiz a guy who throws a baseball — a professional entertainer, for pete’s sake — about how he came by his skills. While some asked tough questions of the baseball hero among them, others fawned over him as if he were Desmond Tutu.

Baseball's steroid scandal NYT: Ortiz, Manny reportedly on 2003 drug list Blog: What they're saying about Ortiz, Manny Blog: Fans won't turn on Ortiz, but writers will Blog: Ortiz did whatever it took — even drugs Blog: BoSox titles not tainted  |  Vote: Agree?   Slideshow: Players caught in steroid scandal

But none of that covers the fact that that Clemens was there, licking his lips so hard it’s a wonder he’s got any skin left on them, while trying to explain why his former trainer, Brian McNamee told the truth about everyone except Clemens.

Clemens complained long but not convincingly that he didn’t address the allegations with former-Sen. George Mitchell’s investigation because no one told him he was involved in it. That’s either a lie or an indictment of his agents and attorneys who never told him about at least two letters advising him of the opportunity to talk with investigators.

Clemens before congress Torre feels bad for Clemens Feb. 13: Dodgers manager says he feels bad about the steroid accusations against his former player and hopes baseball can move on. Clemens on the stand and under fire Bob Costas discusses Clemens' testimony Clemens, attorneys speak after hearing Rep. Cummings doubts Clemens Waxman: 'Inconsistencies' by Clemens McNamee: 'I told the truth'

Clemens’ excuse? Bud Selig should have called him directly, a response that neatly ignores the fact that all communications with individual players had to go — by contract — through the players’ union.

It is all the little things that conspire against him.

Like Andy Pettitte — the most honest person Clemens has ever met. Never told a lie. Never will tell a lie. Except on his testimony that Clemens talked to him about using performance-enhancers. How can that be, Roger?

The response? Pettitte must have “misremembered,” whatever that means.

And McNamee was right about jabbing both Pettitte and their former teammate, Chuck Knoblauch, with performance-enhancers, but wrong about doing it to him.

Um, Roger that.

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