OPINION

By Steve Greenberg

updated 5:12 p.m. ET Jan. 7, 2008

By their fruits -- or at least their cahoots -- ye shall know them as Tonica.

Tonica, as in Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson. As in a way more scrutinized, if slightly less beautiful, couple than Tom Brady and Gisele What's-her-face. Sportslywood's "it" couple, matter of fact.

As in the single organism that threatens to devour the Super Bowl dreams of the Dallas Cowboys. Perhaps you've heard that Romo and Simpson -- with others, including Cowboys tight end Jason Witten -- were in Mexico over the weekend devouring flautas and taquitos, if not Giants game tape.

If you're a Cowboys fan, that means you'll be subjected all week to deathly serious speculation that Tonica's powers of distraction are too potent for the quarterback to keep a grip on the task at hand. Which happens to be beating the chorizo out of said Giants, who head to Big D sporting a natty 8-1 road record.

That one loss came in Dallas in the season opener, before Romo had been linked to the desirous divorcee. Since then, gossip-mongering yentas, some of them in cowboy hats, have hit the airwaves and the blogosphere to forge a link between Tonica and any imperfection on the part of the 13-3 Cowboys.

The strains of angst rose up at Thanksgiving, New Year's Eve and now this week -- not to mention after every errant Romo throw -- and resuscitated talk that Romo fumbled away last year's playoff game in Seattle because then-girlfriend Carrie Underwood was in the house.

Even teammate Terrell Owens got in on the act after the Cowboys' loss to the Eagles last month -- a game attended by Simpson that was, incidentally, the worst statistical game of Romo's career. "Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite in this locker room," Owens joked with reporters. "I think a lot of people feel like she's probably taking his focus away."

All of which crosses the border into the realm of loco. Simpson is a babe, but an arm-weakening huddle-wrecker? I really doubt it. Maybe Troy Aikman or Roger Staubach wouldn't have mellowed in Margaritaville at playoff time, but Romo isn't Aikman or Staubach. He's more the fun-loving type, and he plays best when he's feeling loose and, uh, frisky.

No matter: Tonica is a pseudo-scandal with legs that just won't quit. Que sera, sera.

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