Imagine Angelina Jolie giving beauty tips to a convent of nuns.

Not seeing it? Okay, picture Emeril Lagasse working the grill with short-order cooks at a local greasy spoon.

Too farfetched? Try this: Michael Jordan lecturing the biggest bunch of losers in professional sports on what it takes to be a champion.

Wait a minute, that did happen.

Last Thursday, his Airness, one of the greatest winners in the history of team sports, addressed the winless Dolphins as they prepared to face the Jets. Basically, Jordan talked about winning and teamwork and being the best.

Jordan might be able to sell sneakers, underwear and cologne, but he couldn’t sell hope to the hopeless.

On Sunday, the Dolphins went out and suffered their biggest embarrassment of the season, losing to the almost-as-bad Jets, 40-13. Hey, a motivational speaker can do only so much.

The Dolphins have reached the dirty dozen. They’re 0-12, and the countdown is on. While the nation focuses on the Patriots and their pursuit of perfection, the Dolphins appear on their way to the imperfect season. They could become the first non-expansion team to go winless, which might be harder than winning every game. The Buccaneers, in their first season, finished 0-14 in 1976.

In the NFL’s era of parity, it’s mind-boggling to think a team could lose every single game. That it could happen to the Dolphins, whose famous ancestors went 17-0 in 1972 to become the first and only undefeated team, is simply hard to fathom.

But it has become a very real possibility. The Dolphins have to face the Bills (away), the Ravens, the Patriots (away) and the Bengals. They’re capable of pulling an upset, especially against the lifeless Ravens, but there’s a strange phenomenon working against them. Unlike early in the season, when opponents might have taken them lightly, the Dolphins are getting everybody’s A game. No team wants to become “The One.”

And the Dolphins are starting to get the feeling that 0-16 is creeping up on them.

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“I’d be lying to say I don’t feel that way,” nose tackle Keith Traylor said after the Jets’ debacle. “You just want to get a win. You don’t want to go down as the worst team in history.”

Everybody loves a winner, which is why teams like the Patriots and Cowboys garner so much attention. But sometimes in sports the most compelling human dramas play out on losing teams. When it happens on a losing team that is threatening to set a mark for futility, it’s must-see TV. It will be hard to watch, but you won’t be able to turn it off, as strange as that may seem.

If the Dolphins finish 0-16, there could be the subject of a book or a movie. Do you think the Jets are going to get that kind of pub for finishing 3-13 or 4-12? Not a chance.

Understandably, the Dolphins — the first team to start 0-12 since the Lions in 2001 — are stressing out. After watching the Jets score 30 unanswered points, Traylor questioned the heart of some players on the team, saying some guys just show up for the paychecks.

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