Michael Ventre

All the Dodgers need now is an owner who makes impulsive decisions and absurd demands in the pursuit of unrealistic goals.

Oh, wait a minute. They have one of those already.

No, these Los Angeles Dodgers are owned by Frank McCourt, which eliminates the need to clone George Steinbrenner. But aside from that, the Dodgers seem to be emulating the New York Yankees. It’s a little creepy, actually, like one of those thrillers where a loner learns to act, dress and behave like the celebrity he idolizes, then attempts to eliminate him and take his place in the final reel.

Grady Little resigned as manager of the Dodgers on Tuesday, the latest development in a plot that Joe Torre seems to be getting dragged into despite his best efforts to the contrary. This whole Torre-to-the-Dodgers brouhaha seemed to begin as a blip in a blog, but eventually it grew cyber-tentacles and now is pulling the former Yankees manager into its lair.

Are the Dodgers becoming the Yankees West? Is that McCourt’s plan? Does that mean that McCourt finally has a plan?

It’s not official yet, but Torre went on “Letterman” the other night and suggested that there’s a better chance Paul Shaffer would become Jay Leno’s bandleader than there is of Torre going to the Dodgers.

But that’s Torre. He’s a class act, and he’s not going to publicly slobber over a job that is already filled. He waited until Grady Little quit to spend more time with Stan Van Gundy’s family … oops. Sorry. I got my forced resignations mixed up.

Any minute now the Dodgers will announce that Torre has come to terms to become their new manager. He surely waited until the Dodgers got the boys from forensics over to Little’s office to remove any trace before he moved in. He also wanted to make sure there was distance between Little’s departure and his arrival, so as not to appear crass.

Torre’s impact will be debated for many weeks. But what might be more of an immediate concern is whether he brings any Yankees with him, and whether the Dodgers’ equipment people are ordered to sew pinstripes into the team’s uniforms.

Don Mattingly is already expected to be named bench coach, which makes perfect sense, but follows another odd sequence in which rumors roll in like storm clouds before they become actual events.

There are three other key Yankees whose defections to Los Angeles might make the Torre Era as anticipated as the Broadway production of Mel Brooks’ “Young Frankenstein,” complete with ticket prices that are almost as staggering.

Slide show   Week in Sports Pictures Flying on the hardwood, racing on the rink, getting physical on the gridiron, and much more. more photos

Alex Rodriguez, Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera are all free agents and have to decide if they want to re-enlist with a owner who may or may not have dementia, or to sign in Los Angeles with an owner who is at least a good two or three years away from that fate.

Many around the Yankees speculate that Posada probably would have been a cinch to re-sign with the Bombers if Mattingly had gotten the managerial job. It instead went to Joe Girardi, with whom Posada had a complicated relationship while the two were players together. Yet the Dodgers have rising star Russell Martin behind the plate, so it’s unlikely Posada will follow Torre.

Rivera was not pleased with the way the Yankees and Torre parted, but usually such hard feelings are quickly smoothed by a lucrative new contract. Rivera probably will re-sign with the Yankees. The Dodgers will likely stick with Takashi Saito — who converted 39 of 43 save opportunities last season — and Jonathan Broxton.

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