Mike Celizic

Rally sons of Notre Dame:

Daughters, too. Fathers and mothers, aunts and uncles and grandmamma, it’s time to rally like never before. USC is coming to town, and it’s Notre Dame’s last chance to win a game that means anything. After the Trojans are Navy, Air Force, Duke and Stanford, and there’s no redemption in beating them. There’s no bowl game – not one worth going to, anyway – no national ranking, no nothing coming out of this lost year. Just USC and a chance to winnow one grain of pride from this worst of all seasons. So rally, guys, rally.

Sing her glory and sound her fame,

Okay, so you gotta go back a few years to find worthy subject matter for that song, but this is the season right here. Dig deep. And if you have to make up the fame part, don’t worry; it’s only a venial sin. The good Fathers will forgive you.

Raise her Gold and Blue

Uh, scratch the blue. Knute Rockne once broke out green jerseys to great effect, and Dan Devine resurrected them for USC in 1977. The team warmed up in its traditional gold and blue, went to the locker room, then came back out in Kelly green. The team was amped, the crowd went nuts, the Trojans quailed and might even have groused and chickadeed, and old Notre Dame won over all. So the big thing with green jerseys is the element of surprise, but coach Charlie Weis, who made the identity of his starting quarterback in the season’s first game a bigger secret than Colonel Sanders’ 11 herbs and spices, has already announced that the Irish are going green. Anyway, go green.

And cheer with voices true:

No slurring your words, fans, so keep it under control at your tailgate parties. Remember, the time to drink away your sorrows is after the game – and only if you have a designated driver.

Rah, rah, for Notre Dame.

And if things go as they have in six of the first seven games, feel free to boo, boo.

We will fight in every game,

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What the heck, USC is as good a time as any to start. But don’t stop there. Try remembering the snap count and who you’re supposed to block, too. Who knows, it might help.

Strong of heart and true to her name.

The problem isn’t the heart. To watch these guys, you also need a strong stomach.

We will ne’er forget her

Nor will we forget Rockne and Leahy and Parseghian and Holtz and even Dan Devine. The question is, will we be able to forget 2007 if Notre Dame gets run out of its own stadium by the Men of Troy?

And will cheer her ever,

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If Weis loses big, he shouldn’t count on it.

Loyal to Notre Dame

And now the chorus:

Cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame,

That’s easy. It’s the new Notre Dame that’s a challenge cheering for. But it’s USC and it’s the season. The house that Rockne built will be rocking for this one. It’s up to the team to keep it rocking.

Wake up the echoes cheering her name,

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You might have to kick them, throw a bucket of ice water in their collective face and blow and walk the marching band through their bedroom. They’re in a deep sleep now; don’t make them go comatose.

Send a volley cheer on high,

I have no idea what a volley cheer is. What’s needed here is a football cheer.

Shake down the thunder from the sky.

You can try it, but the only thing that’s going to help is lightning on the field, and that’s what’s been lacking from the reputed offensive genius who is running the team. Irish fans know it’s not Brady Quinn under center anymore, but the offense has to wake up.

What though the odds be great or small

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It’s been a while since Notre Dame football has  known the meaning of small odds. The odds against the Irish in this one are along the lines of the odds of the Yankees winning the World Series – this year. But great odds are what make memorable victories.

Old Notre Dame will win over all,

And if it wins this one, the season is rescued, Weis is a genius again at least for a day or two, there is hope for next year, and, best of all for Irish fans, USC’s chances of getting back to the BCS championship game are slimmer than a rich man’s chances of riding a camel to heaven through the eye of a needle.

While her loyal sons are marching onward to victory.

And to a celebration that won’t stop until spring break.

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