The English have been gaga over him for years, for reasons not yet fully understood on this side of the pond. The short version is that David Beckham, along with being the master of many hairstyles, has a special talent for kicking a stationary soccer ball just where he wants it.

That’s big stuff in England, a country that has about as many sports heroes as there are sunny days at Wimbledon. Ordinarily, though, it might not cause much of a buzz among the beautiful people of Tinseltown, most of whom think showing a yellow card is something their maid must do if she wants to work for them.

But the beautiful people are nothing if not adaptable, especially when it comes to their own. Who would have thought just a few months ago that they would have cared so much about what happened to poor Paris Hilton?

Beckham, you will soon find out, is nothing if not a beautiful person. He’s got a beautiful head of hair, a beautiful wife, and a beautiful $22 million home in Beverly Hills.

Among his neighbors are his beautiful best friends, Tom and Katie.

He’s also got a beaut of a contract and endorsements that will pay him untold millions to play for the Los Angeles Galaxy, a minor league soccer team of sorts that plays in a league that is major in name only.

Beckham began earning his contract Friday with an appearance at the Galaxy’s home field, and the perfect media storm brewed. A few days later, his wife’s trip to America will get more prime-time television coverage than the Beatles did when they first came over.

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If you thought A-Rod’s wife craved attention, just wait until NBC airs the hourlong special “Victoria Beckham: Coming to America,” the chronicle of a rich and famous wife who gives up her rich and famous life in London to live a rich and famous life in Beverly Hills.

The former — and future — Posh Spice will be shown doing things most soccer moms do, like developing her signature line of clothing, sunglasses and perfume.

But that’s merely the beginning.

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On July 21, ESPN will wave the pompoms for three hours cheering Beckham’s arrival in a show that will include everything except a concert by the Spice Girls. Adidas will run constant commercials featuring Beckham and Reggie Bush, and Motorola will pay him millions to sell phones.

Americans, whose willingness to fall for hype has never been overestimated, will undoubtedly be entranced by it all.

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And then Beckham will actually play a game.

Soccer moms will swoon, and gather the kids around the TV. They’ll have plenty of angles to look at since ESPN is using 19 cameras for the exhibition match against Chelsea, including one that will be trained on the master himself the entire game.

If all goes well, someone might score a goal. If things really go well, Beckham will score a goal.

Everyone will race out to buy season tickets, and set their TiVo for a season pass of Major League Soccer.

Or not.