When Tony sees the bill for this one, he’ll wish he got married at the Sleeping Beauty Castle in Disneyland, which two people can visit for about $126, excluding snacks and souvenirs. Or Hearst Castle, which runs about $50 per couple. I hear Knights’ Kingdom in Legoland is also very nice.

But apparently Eva wants a wedding to remember. Like most women, she has romantic fantasies. The Chateau de Chantilly outside of Paris, reportedly the site of Saturday’s event,  has a rich history of romance. Napoleon had his high-school prom there. Marie Antoinette would often stop by while on dates to use the bidet. The Hunchback of Notre Dame lost his virginity there. And Charles de Gaulle was particularly fond of the place because he finally found something in France that was uglier than he was.

Speaking of Marie Antoinette, most historians highly doubt that she ever uttered the phrase, “Let them eat cake!” after being told there was no bread for the peasants. But if Longoria utters a comparable command, it would probably be, “Let them eat cake — but let me fly it in from L.A. first.”

It’s unclear whether this is actually true or not, but there is a report that Longoria bought a first-class ticket on a flight from L.A. to Paris just for a specially prepared wedding cake. I can just see some frustrated businessman pacing at LAX waiting to see if he got an upgrade on the flight and finally being told there were no more seats because a large cake got the last one. Even worse, a star cake would probably be really obnoxious and keep sending food back.

What, they don’t have bakeries in France? Eva could save a lot of time and money by flipping through a copy of Frommer’s, finding a local patisserie and sparing the L.A. cake the indignity of being frisked by French security.

And Saturday’s date happens to be July 7. That is 7-7-07, which apparently is a very desirable date to get married because for superstitious types it’s triple 7s. Some feel it is the most popular wedding day in history. And Parker is reportedly the one who chose the date, not his blushing bride.

But does Parker really need any more luck? He’s on top of the basketball world. He’s on top of the mating world. What is he holding out for, an even easier path to the championship plus Teri Hatcher?

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