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Ban NFL players from clubs? Fat chance

'Pacman' can't handle himself, but vast majority don't get into trouble

JonesAP
Titans star cornerback Adam 'Pacman' Jones has been in trouble with the law numerous times in the past year.

Anyway, it won’t work. These are young males, many of whom grew up with little parenting, no money and no moral compass other than the one provided for them by their favorite recording artists. Telling them not to travel with posses and not to go into strip clubs is like telling the Pope to stay out of church. It ain’t gonna happen.

Look. The NFL has terrific relations with the political establishment, and it’s without peer in the business of flag-waving. Given all the good will it’s built up with the government, it would seem that the government can do something in return.

Seeing what a good job the government has done in compiling its "no-fly" list — Osama bin Laden is one of the people not allowed to get on an airplane in the United States; so is anyone named Robert Johnson — why can’t the TSA give Goodell a little help on the posse issue?

Before a player can swear somebody into his posse, make him submit the name to the commissioner’s office and let the TSA do a background check to see if that person can go clubbing or has to be put on a "no-party" list. Every club gets a copy of the list, and if you’re on it, you can’t climb aboard.

That might be a little too complicated, though. A better idea would be to just implant every player with a GPS chip so they can be tracked from league HQ. Get a map with all club locations — including the Elks — marked. When a chip enters a club, call security.

The benefit of that idea is that the league would also know when a player is driving too fast or too erratically, or when he’s anywhere he could get into trouble.

I’m sure Gene Upshaw, the head of the NFL Players Association could be brought aboard fairly easily. Just tell him he won’t have to pay disability benefits to anyone who’s retired more than 10 years ago and doesn’t have to listen to Mike Ditka ever again, and he’s yours.

In the meantime, Goodell had better get used to it. These are the new breed of NFL players. They have tons of money. They go clubbing. They’re easily offended.

And they travel with posses, but not the kind I knew when I was a kid.

© 2012 NBC Sports.com  Reprints


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