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In ‘Sopranos’ world, Davis, Kobe would star

Raiders owner vindictive, Bryant petulant — and that’s just for starters

Image: DavisGetty Images file
If Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis was a mafia boss, columnist Michael Ventre says it'd be foolish to cross him because Davis is a man who believes in vendettas.

Roger Goodell
Some bosses are stern, forceful and mete out discipline when needed. The NFL commissioner has proved to be a man no one should cross. In terms of fairness and an understanding of what’s best for his business as a whole, he’s probably the most like Tony Soprano of any current-day sports boss. Granted, he doesn’t fly into fits of rage and pummel an enemy into a bloody pulp.

Then again, the public doesn’t always see what goes on behind closed doors. But he would be wise to watch out for Tank Johnson. It’s risky to impose an eight-game suspension on somebody who has so many guns.

Billy Donovan
He’s the king of the Gainesville mob. No, wait. Now he’s the head of the Orlando gang. Check that: He’s back in charge in Gainesville.

Donovan seems to be following an old mob tradition of annexing territories, except he can’t make up his mind which one he wants. The most difficult part is recruiting soldiers. By now, they are understandably confused. This is the same approach Larry Brown took when he tried to muscle in on the New York crew. And you know what happened there: No one has heard from him since.

Marvin Lewis

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At one point in “The Godfather,” Michael Corleone says: “In five years the Corleone family will be completely legitimate.” Of course, he was wrong. He didn’t succeed. And neither has Lewis.

The Cincinnati Bengals coach desperately wants to go straight, but his underlings have different ideas. His players keep committing more crimes than the Sopranos’ crew pulls off in a good year. At times, I’m sure Marvin would like to just chuck it all, move away and start a new life. But then he mutters another line, this from “The Godfather, Part III,” which goes something like this: “Every time I think I’m out, they pull me back in.”

Jerry Jones
He is the “Little Carmine” of the NFL. Not so much in the sense that he fractures the English language in the same way that the dopey boss in “The Sopranos” does. But you can tell that the Dallas Cowboys owner, like Little Carmine, enjoys the good life above all else. He certainly likes to win, but first he has to get some cosmetic surgery, buy new suits, get a manicure, pedicure, facial, massage, have a nice cigar and a glass or two of pinot noir, then lay by the pool and conduct business.

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And Little Carmine was about as successful at making peace between Phil and Tony as Jerry was at doing the same between Bill Parcells and Terrell Owens. In fact, it could be argued that the latter situation was a lot bloodier.

Urban Meyer
After winning the national championship, he thought he had the Gainesville turf all locked up, not to mention the SEC.

But then Billy Donovan got uppity and won his second straight title. So Urban had to move on Billy, without being noticed. He cut a deal behind the scenes with the Orlando people to lure Billy there, where he would naturally be emasculated and eventually stripped of all power. But Billy sniffed out the plan. He decided that the Gainesville action was too precious to give up. So he moved back.

You’re about to see one of the nastiest fights over parking spots and office space ever witnessed in college athletics.

Michael Ventre writes regularly for MSNBC.com and is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles.


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