Bill Williamson

Search through the rubble of the most bizarre story of the NFL offseason and find the truth.

Jon Gruden is a desperate man. The intense little offensive guru is inches from walking the plank in Buccaneer Land. He knows it.

Desperate times in the NFL call for desperate quarterbacking measures. Thus explains the quarterback cattle call in Florida. Saturday, the Buccaneers were adding household name quarterbacks like Hollywood adds sex tape scandals. Almost by the hour.

Surreal as it was, but Jake Plummer was the star of the … Jeff Garcia press conference. Plummer. Isn’t he Denver’s problem? Not anymore.

Minutes after word broke that the Buccaneers landed the top quarterback free agent prospect available in Garcia — who reinvented himself at the age of 37 in Philadelphia after the season-ending injury to Donovan McNabb — news spread that the Buccaneers went ahead and traded for Plummer, even though he informed Gruden the day before that he was saying goodbye to football.

Yes, the Buccaneers acquired the rights to a retired player. Think they would have inquired about Montana or Elway if they were in the mood for the retired sort before settling on Plummer?

At Garcia’s press conference, Tampa Bay general manager Bruce Allen spent most of his time having to explain why Tampa Bay acquired the rights to a player intent on not playing. And Plummer is not playing. He’s done.

Allen talked about competition and that the team would welcome Plummer along with Garcia in training camp. But don’t forget, Tampa Bay just re-signed Chris Simms. How about instead of three mediocre players, Tampa Bay ponies up for one good one?

But in Tampa it’s just going to be Garcia and Simms. Plummer will be fishing in Idaho. He is not a tangible factor. What he is, is a symbol. A symbol of Gruden’s desperation.

Gruden is an offensive-minded man. That’s why Oakland hired him at the age of 34 to be its coach. That’s why Tampa Bay gave a truckload to the Raiders to get him five years ago. Gruden is supposed to make offenses go. That’s why he has a job.

Problem is, Gruden’s offense has been stagnant for much of his time in Tampa Bay. Gruden kissed the Lombardi Trophy in 2003 because of the Buccaneers’ defense.

So if Gruden doesn’t start showing that offensive genius he showed in Oakland, he may be looking for his third NFL job next January.

Gruden is perhaps the warmest NFL coach on the hot seat. His team has underachieved in recent seasons and again, it’s because of his offense.

As strange as it sounds, Jon Gruden is coaching for his job in 2007.

And when you don’t have a quarterback and you need to win, you make questionable calls. You roll in two quarterbacks on the same day. So don’t wonder what the Buccaneers are planning. They don’t even know.

They just want to find a suitable quarterback to get things right. If not, it will be someone else’s problem next year.

But again, Gruden has to forget about Plummer. After all, Plummer forgot about Gruden.

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Gruden tried to talk Plummer off the golf course and into his system on Friday. It didn’t work.
It’s for the best that Gruden now simply concentrates on Garcia. That’s his best chance.

Gruden did make the right decision in finding competition for Simms.

Simms is coming off a serious injury (the kid almost died on the field last year) and he has not shown he’s ready to handle the starting gig.

Garcia may not be as good as he was while leading the Eagles to a playoff berth last year. But he’s the Buccaneers’ best choice. He is a crafty veteran. Rich Gannon was of similar journeymen ilk when he caught fire under the guidance of Gruden.

It could happen again. It’s Gruden’s last chance. The Buccaneers need to put the Plummer embarrassment behind then and concentrate on saving Gruden’s job.

For his part, Garcia is taking a warrior’s stance. Saturday, in the midst of all of Plummer hub-hub (stealing time from what should have been a Garcia fete) Garcia was ready for a crowded quarterback huddle.

"And if Jake Plummer were to show up here after I did, I welcome it. It's not a situation I'm fearful of."

At least someone in Tampa isn’t running scared.