NBA’s crackdown is getting ridiculous
Kobe’s forearm could have been an accident, but Stern decides otherwise
![]() Kevork Djansezian / AP Kobe Bryant's suspension for a trifle act must have had him hiding his face in disbelief. |
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In fact, the league has decided to reinforce that message with even more restrictions:
No NBA player shall — in the course of a game or outside the playing surface, or for that matter within the borders of the contiguous United States, Alaska, Hawaii and all U.S. territories and possessions, and Canada, and any other country that hosts an NBA-sanctioned event, or televises one, or advertises one, or thinks about one — slap, bump, nudge, poke, grab, brush up against, muss the hair of, jostle, disturb, annoy, tickle, give a wedgie to, insult by word or action, lean against, invade the space of, breathe on, expectorate near, or otherwise ruin the vibe of another NBA player. In fact, even a handshake or a caress that isn’t followed by a big smile can draw a fine.
This is not the official NBA by-law on the topic, however, merely a suggestion for an early draft. And I would venture to guess that the finished version won’t stray too much from the wording and the spirit of the aforementioned passage, given the direction the league seems to be going on this.
The latest indication that the league office has gone to the mattresses on the issue of player-generated aggression is the one-game suspension handed to Kobe Bryant on Monday for slapping San Antonio’s Manu Ginobili with his arm during their game Sunday at Staples Center. The shock is that commissioner David Stern didn’t order a SWAT team to perform a pre-dawn raid on Kobe’s house.
Naturally, Kobe will have to live with the shame of sticking his arm out and coming into contact with Ginobili’s honker after a jump shot. The horror, the horror. Children who weren’t traumatized by the spectacle are now threats to mimic it on the playground, which will cause recipients across the land to exclaim, “Ouch!” and teachers to warn, “Be more careful.”
I saw the replay of the incident in question. To be frank, it could have been intentional. Kobe may have wanted to inform Ginobili in no uncertain terms that if he got too close he risked the danger of eating a forearm focaccia.
Stu Jackson, the NBA’s enforcement lackey, explained the suspension by stating that contact was made by Kobe’s arm above Ginobili’s shoulders, and that it was an unnatural basketball motion. Said Jackson: “We did not view this as an inadvertent action.”
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And as for the “unnatural basketball motion” portion of the act, I can only say that I’ve watched Kobe Bryant since he came into the league as an 18-year-old in 1996 and just about everything he’s done on a court since then has seemed unnatural to me.
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