20. Bill Belichick will be CBS’s special halftime analyst. He’ll wear a cutoff sweatshirt and tie.

21. Dan Marino will conduct the pre-game coin toss. Because of his notoriously quick release, CBS producers will ask him to delay it so they can squeeze in more commercials.

22. Every suspect on the FBI’s Most Wanted List will attempt to sneak through security at Miami’s airport because they know all they have to do is wear a No. 7 Atlanta Falcons jersey and the authorities will erase the surveillance video.

23. Don Shula will present the Vince Lombardi Trophy to the winner. He will begin the presentation by saying, “On behalf of everyone not named Nick Saban …”

24. Terrell Owens, in Florida for the week for a photo shoot, will accidentally get too close to a lagoon and will get swallowed by a crocodile. The crocodile will spit him out, then die.

25. Shawne Merriman will be in town for the Super Bowl to endorse a new line of supplements. He will begin his pitch to prospective customers by saying, “Pssst …” from an alley.

26. Grammy winner Billy Joel has been tabbed to sing the national anthem. By mistake, Joel instead will sing his 1982 hit single, “Pressure,” causing several of the players to become nervous and seek emergency counseling.

27. During a critical point in the fourth quarter, Peyton Manning will call a timeout so he can go make another commercial.

28. Like their 1985 counterparts, the Bears will release a Super Bowl video. This one will be entitled, “Hey, Somebody Had to Come Out of the NFC.”

29. New Dolphins coach Cam Cameron will take one look at his roster and then fly to Costa Rica to see if Pete Carroll will take over his job.

30. FEMA officials in town on a Super Bowl junket will see video from 2006 of Joey Harrington quarterbacking the Dolphins and will offer to send food, bottled water and temporary housing.

31. The price for a 30-second commercial in this year’s Super Bowl is about $2.6 million, which when put into terms the average football fan can relate to is a little less than one-fifth of what Michael Strahan’s wife is now worth.

32. The NFL opted to use Cirque du Soleil as the pre-game entertainment rather than the more divisive Cirque du T.O.

Slideshow   The Week in Sports Pictures A kayaker flips out, a racehorse eyes the Triple Crown and more. more photos

33. Jim Nantz and Phil Simms will serve as announcers for CBS. The network will conduct a contest during the game to see if some lucky fan can listen to their voices and tell them apart.

34. Beyonce will join Prince during the halftime show. He’ll expose one of her breasts, explaining later that he thought it was a Super Bowl tradition.

35. Beyonce’s “Dreamgirls” co-star Jennifer Hudson will make a surprise appearance. She’ll play nose tackle for the Colts.

36. The Indianapolis Colts are the visiting team, which means they’ll have to stay in a hotel and bus to the game. The Chicago Bears are the home team, meaning they get to stay at Shaq’s house.

37. CBS will have Solomon Wilcots and Steve Tasker reporting from the sidelines and Lesley Visser and Sam Ryan reporting from the stands. Of course, in broadcast industry parlance, “reporting from the stands” means “Get us some beers.”

38. After spirited deliberations, the NFL and the Players Association finally agreed on a tough new drug-testing policy. To celebrate the occasion, the city of Miami will host a special screening of “Scarface.”

39. In a tribute to Miami’s rich football tradition during pre-game festivities, players from the University of Miami and Florida International University will beat each other up again.

40. Former Miami Hurricanes RB and Colts star Edgerrin James, who signed as a free agent last summer with the Arizona Cardinals, will be honored by the Colts in appreciation of him leaving.

41. The Colts will win Super Bowl XLI. LaDainian Tomlinson will complain later about the way they celebrated.