Michael Ventre

The New Year isn’t just time for exchanging thoughtless holiday gifts, making resolutions that you’ll never keep or renewing arguments about the BCS. It’s a time for reflection, but also a time to look ahead. The latter endeavor will only fully occupy our attention when we stop writing “2006” on our checks, which should happen sometime in mid-March.

But let’s get started anyway. It’s vital that we understand the exciting new developments that 2007 will bring — especially in the world of sports — so that we can adequately brace for them and, in some rare cases, arrange for therapy or legal action.

Here are some of the events that could very well occur in and around sports in 2007. Some are good, some are bad, and some are too insignificant to be placed in either category but not so unimportant that they couldn’t be included here.

Expect these happenings in 2007:

Barry Bonds will finally break down and provide some hope to his imprisoned personal trainer, Greg Anderson. He’ll send him a DVD of “The Shawshank Redemption.”

Authorities in Boston will finally capture longtime fugitive mob boss Whitey Bulger. Then they will turn their attention to a more daunting task: finding a significant contribution by J.D. Drew among Red Sox box scores.

Terrell Owens will accomplish what had been considered impossible: He’ll spit at another player while asleep during a team meeting.

Florida coach Urban Meyer will see “We Are Marshall” and marvel at how closely the actors in the football sequences are able to mimic real game action. Then he’ll quickly schedule the group as a future non-conference opponent.

SPORTS   Discuss: Most memorable of year? JT's Rant: Top soundbites of 2006 Celizic: It was the Year of Mediocrity Opinion: A year of triumphs, adversity How's your memory? Take our quiz Tiger's tragedy, triumphs voted top story AP's top athletes: Ochoa | Tiger tops L.T. JT the Brick: AP blew it by ignoring Johnson Vote!: Top story? | Male? | Female? Several surprises | Loss of legends Olympics: Bode, Cohen, U.S. hockey slipped Soccer: It was all about the head-butt Tennis: Federer dominated, Agassi said bye NBC's Parsons hands out his NASCAR awards Golf Expert: The best and worst of 2006 Horses: Rich tapestry of tragedy, victory Ventre: What crystal ball reveals for '07

NBA commissioner David Stern will introduce a new basketball that is made from the torn-up skin of players who used the last new basketball he tried to introduce.

Because of the unexpected length of the war in Iraq, the U.S. Army will abandon its current supplier of firearms and turn to a source with a larger inventory: Tank Johnson.

Whichever new team he winds up on, Allen Iverson will skip meetings, show up late to practices and fail to attend team functions. When asked if this was his way of requesting another trade, Iverson will reply, “No, it’s just me getting settled in.”

To expedite processing, the Cincinnati Police Department will set up a precinct at the Bengals’ training facility.

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