Michael Ventre

Recently the NBA adopted new rules about complaining. They don’t apply to fans complaining about the high prices of beer and parking. Nor do they cover Shaquille O’Neal complaining about the new slippery/sticky NBA basketball.

The new rules have to do with players complaining about officials’ calls. Apparently commissioner David Stern feels his league is developing a negative image and he wants to nip it in the bud. Unfortunately, he’s a little late. This bud is now the size of a sequoia, and it represents more than just a few whines over whistles.

The league has endured a lot of blemishes on its pretty face in recent seasons. They include brawls, arrests, altercations, profanity and dress-code violations. To be fair, the NBA still offers an exciting product involving the greatest athletes in the world. And the vast majority of its players are good citizens. But it also has its share of undesirables who might, on any given day, create the kinds of banner headlines that cause Stern to reach for a bottle of Excedrin.

The following are what we call “The NBA’s Top Ten Time Bombs.” All of these men are highly volatile, and any could go off at any minute. And if several happen to go off at the same time … well, it was a nice league while it lasted:

RASHEED WALLACE
Even though he’s only 32, he’s the granddaddy of NBA bad behavior. ‘Sheed probably has established more of a nefarious reputation on the floor than off it — despite the occasional speeding and marijuana possession rap — especially since he moved out of Portland and landed in Detroit. When a player gets two technicals and an ejection in the season opener, you know he’s serious about having a bellicose year. Just think, he had 16 technicals last season, which was considered model behavior for him. He posted a league-record 41 Ts in 2000-01 while a Trail Blazer. With the new rules imposed by David Stern, Wallace only has to raise an eyebrow at a striped shirt in order to get a technical foul. The Pistons might as well put him on the inactive list now.

RON ARTEST

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Has anyone noticed how quiet it’s been lately? A little too quiet, if you ask me. Artest not only burned his bridges in Indiana, he also bombed them and then spray-painted graffiti on whatever was left. Since being traded to Sacramento, he’s been fairly well-behaved. But he will not last too much longer trying to share the basketball with Mike Bibby and taking orders from wound-too-tight Eric Musselman. Eventually, he’ll blow. Another inkling that there is unrest in the Artest camp is his determination to pursue a rap career, which he renewed with earnest just prior to the season. Soon he will encounter friction between his music interests and his basketball obligations, resulting in an embarrassing public display of pique. If Chris Webber soured on Sacramento because they didn’t have any restaurants to his liking, imagine how Artest The Detroit Brawler will react when the Kings tell him to back off on the music thing.

STEPHEN JACKSON

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The Indiana Pacers’ guard-forward served a 30-game suspension for his part in the Malice at the Palace. It seemed like one of those freakish moments in which circumstances got the better of a young man. But then he went to a strip club this summer, had an altercation and fired a gun, prompting commissioner Stern to say that he wished players would leave the guns at home. While Jackson does have a permit for the weapon, the fact that he fired it outside a strip club during a fracas, and that he said dismissively, “It’s his opinion” when asked about Stern’s feelings on players packing heat, leads one to believe that there may be more target practice in Jackson’s future. Although Jackson insists he’ll follow rules that prohibit players from carrying guns in the pursuit of NBA business, it might not be a bad idea for the concessionaires at arenas to start selling officially licensed bullet-proof vests.

SEBASTIAN TELFAIR

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There used to be a protocol that young NBA players had to follow before they were allowed to become notorious. Now all that’s out the window. You see guys like Telfair come out of high school, have documentaries made about them, acquire entourages rivaling those of All-Stars, and then getting themselves into first-class scrapes with the law before they’ve even broken in their first pair of signature Nikes. First authorities found a handgun in Telfair’s handbag on a flight in February; he explained that he inadvertently took his girlfriend’s handbag, which had her gun in it. Then he had a $50,000 necklace snatched from his neck outside P. Diddy’s nightclub, and consequently was under investigation for a phone call he made around the time that rapper Fabolous was shot. Although he seems to be in the clear on that, Telfair’s appetite for bling, guns and nightclubs doesn’t bode well for a squeaky clean future. A sidenote: He can’t play, either.

ZACH RANDOLPH AND DARIUS MILES
They’re listed here as a combined entry. It wouldn’t be fair to break them up. They’re so effective together as a hell-raising tandem. Like most NBA partnerships, Randolph and Miles work because they each make their own distinct contributions to bringing disgrace to their city and their franchise. Randolph once punched then-teammate Ruben Patterson in the face during practice and had run-ins with the police on gun and marijuana charges. Miles has distinguished himself more as an underachiever and a malcontent. The Trail Blazers have taken some strides lately to clean up their image, including the drafting of Brandon Roy. But as long as they have a double threat like Randolph and Miles, the Trail Blazers will continue to be perceived as the Jail Blazers.