Michael Ventre

To paraphrase an old crooner: If A-Rod can make it there, he can make it anywhere.

Unfortunately, A-Rod can’t make it there.

Anaheim, however, is a different matter altogether. He can definitely make it there.

The reason Alex Rodriguez will never make it “there,” as in New York City, is because that well has already been poisoned. Even though he wears pinstripes, A-Rod is held in much the same regard among Yankee fans as Bill Buckner is among Red Sox fans. While A-Rod hasn’t committed a historically colossal gaffe to earn a place in Yankee infamy, he has been cited for enough misdemeanors to keep the ever-demanding faithful on high tactical alert.

More important, Yankee Nation has no tolerance for self-doubt. Fans feel he doesn’t belong at third base, he belongs on display at a psychiatric symposium in Vienna. Even during stretches when he’s hot at the plate and errorless at the hot corner, he’s always one slip-up away from a rubber room.  If the Yankees win the World Series this year, A-Rod will probably question whether he really deserves to be happy. While Joe Torre takes a congratulatory call from President Bush, A-Rod will be on the phone with Dr. Phil.

The amateur shrink in me feels that in cases like this one, a change of scenery is in order. I believe the amateur shrinks in and around the Yankees agree wholeheartedly, which is why the 2006 playoffs may be A-Rod’s farewell to The City That Never Sleeps And Never Stops Reminding You How Much Money You Make.

Earlier this month, Angels owner Arte Moreno tried to deflect criticism over the club’s fetish for minor leaguers and aversion to high-salaried stars by promising to make a major acquisition in the offseason. Of course, with the Angels, anyone higher than Double A is considered a major acquisition, so the citizens in and around Anaheim aren’t preparing the kind of reception that Shaq got in Miami.

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But considering the Angels’ 2006 flopperoo, and the fact that general manager Bill Stoneman has been known to curl into a fetal position each summer until the trade deadline passes, anyone who can add punch in the lineup and at the turnstiles will be welcomed.

When Moreno made his pronouncement, speculation focused on the usual suspects: Manny Ramirez, Alfonso Soriano, Miguel Tejada. It took a little longer before the Alex Rodriguez rumors began to percolate.

Now they are raging, because it makes some sense.

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From the Yankees’ side, they’d get rid of a huge distraction. Although A-Rod is having a fine season by most standards — he was batting .284 with 34 home runs and 117 RBI entering Tuesday’s games — turmoil is constant. The recent Sports Illustrated article -- in which Jason Giambi suggested A-Rod wasn’t pulling his weight and urged Torre to stop babying him, and in which one teammate said he might need glasses and another accused him of being afraid of the baseball — brought the soap opera to a crescendo and may have added momentum to the “Oust A-Rod” movement.