It’s sad to think there are people who know better who find this sort of behavior acceptable, not only for adults but for children as well. Look at what Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban wrote on his blogmaverick.com (which I reproduce as he wrote it, with obscenities redacted, of course:

“I cant think of anything funnier than a 3 year old cursing. I mean come on, does it really matter if we say Poo Poo or [bleep]?  Of course not. Unless of course your married and your wife tells you it matters. She doesnt want to be the one who gets phone calls from teachers and other parents getting blamed for all the 3 year olds in the little gym class screaming “Kiss My [blank] you [blank]”... Me, i couldnt think of anything i would rather see and hear. but thats me.”

Good for his wife! She knows it’s parents like Cuban who make it had for the rest of us to protect the virgin ears of our own children, and leads to displays like we saw from the Staten Island Little Leaguer.

(This reminds me of a funny story. A friend of mine said he and his wife were watching the Sopranos, and their 2-year-old daughter jumps out of bed and comes into the living room right when the f-bombs are bursting in air. The next day, my friend takes his daughter to the grocery store — during the day when there’s no one but grandmothers there — and she’s blaring, at the top of her little lungs, the f-bomb, over and over and over. Wooo hoooo... OK, that’s it, I’ve got to cut this out.)

While the Staten Island coach was right to be upset at his young charge, he — and other coaches — can do more to ensure no one else is tempted to talk bluer than the umpire’s uniform. It’s probable that until that moment, the coaches didn’t realize their intended message of comportment wasn’t clear.

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Experts say you should not laugh or grow hysterical when a child swears. Instead, you must make clear — as the coach did — that this was not acceptable, and you should say why.

For example, parenting Web sites would recommend the coach tell his team that the word the 12-year-old used was a euphemism for sexual intercourse. They might not have been aware of this fact.

And then, you should offer alternatives to swearing. It’s natural anyone of any age needs to find a vocabularic release for emotion, but it must be done the right way. Here is a list of words the Staten Island coaches, and others, could offer their children as appropriate alternatives. These were all taken off of parenting web sites — they are geared to toddlers, but they are appropriate for pre-teens and adults, too:

• For Pete’s sake
• Gosh darn it
• Dagnabit
• Hoodle-doodle
• Snuggle wuggle

So perhaps next time the Staten Island Little Leaguers get excitable, someone can shout, “WE NEED ONLY ONE HOODLIN’-DOODLIN’ RUN!”

(You know what — that would be even MORE hilarious, too! Whew, glad I could work this out.)

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