BUD SELIG: As baseball commissioner, he’s been working to achieve a stringent drug-testing policy for some time now. Maybe it would be easier for him if he just switched to a league that already has one.

S. ROBSON WALTON: He’s the chairman of the Wal-Mart corporation. He knows a thing or two about bringing in obscene profits on the backs of dispensable employees.

RANDY “DUKE” CUNNINGHAM: He’s the disgraced former congressman from San Diego who took massive bribes and is now behind bars. What would appeal most to the NFL owners is that, because he is in prison, they would only have to pay him 50 cents an hour.

ANDERSON COOPER: According to a recent Gallup Poll, nearly 40 percent of Americans have never heard of him. If he succeeded Tagliabue, the CNN anchor could improve that by, like, almost one or two percentage points.

BEYONCE KNOWLES: Hey, shouldn’t the players have a say in this?

HARRY WHITTINGTON: He is the Texas lawyer who was shot in the face by his friend Dick Cheney. I can’t think of better preparation for a Super Bowl press conference.

JANET JACKSON: Right now, there’s almost no chance a Super Bowl audience will get to see her other boob. But with her as commissioner? Maybe.

Slide show   Celebrating good times Check out well-known NFL touchdown celebrations from the past few years.

LARRY BROWN: I just threw him in here because, if there’s a job open somewhere in America, chances are Larry has already started lobbying for it.

WILLIAM HUNG: Commissioner/anthem singer. Unprecedented.

JOHNNY DEPP: Take a good look at a photo of Tagliabue in public, then look at Johnny from “Pirates of the Caribbean,” and tell me which one would be more fun to have as commissioner.

SURI CRUISE: She’s kept out of the spotlight and doesn’t say much.

Slideshow   The Week in Sports Pictures A kayaker flips out, a racehorse eyes the Triple Crown and more. more photos

JOHN MADDEN: Maybe it’s time for an upgrade. The only entertainment option in sports more popular than the NFL these days is Madden’s video game.

STEPHEN COLBERT: Finally, a commissioner more sarcastic than the sportswriters who cover him.

PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL: He’s already used to coming out of his hole once a year.

TONY SOPRANO: One of the most important tasks of a commissioner is enforcing rules, protecting the brand and making sure everybody keeps in line. Of course, Tony would have to step up his game a bit, but he can probably handle it.

FIDEL CASTRO: From one communist state to another.