Matt Hayes

The e-mail came about a month ago, and for the life of me I still can't fathom it. The subject line was, in a word, pretentious. Frankly, it made me want to puke.

An Afternoon with Brady Quinn at Notre Dame

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Domers officially are back.

It has been more than a decade since we've been in this position — since the long summer days of anticipating crisp fall Saturdays turns a young man's fancy to … hating Notre Dame.

Before we go further, let me explain that I, for one, don't dislike the Domers. In fact, the college game is best when the Irish are among the elite. Charlie Weis is a fabulous coach, and Kevin White is the nation's shrewdest (and that's strictly a compliment) athletic director. Even the publicity machine: just a bunch of good folks doing their jobs.

But they sure make it easy to Despise the Dome.

Tea and Crumpets with Brady Quinn at Notre Dame

The idea behind this Brady love-in was to introduce select media (I don't know why I was chosen, either) to the ND golden boy — to give everyone an insight into the man behind the spray-painted (with real gold flecks, no less) helmet. I had zero interest in going and genuflecting, but I know a guy who was there and he explained the surreal scene. Quinn sat at one end of a corporate-looking oak table, and Weis sat at the other.

What was learned about Quinn: nothing.

What was learned about Weis: nothing.

What was learned about Notre Dame: No. 1 in the priceless art of self-promotion.

Cordials and Creampuffs with Brady Quinn at Notre Dame

Another caveat: We're cuckoo over ND and have the Irish splashed all over any Sporting News preseason publication you can put your mitts on. It pretty much went down like this:

Me: "You, me and the intern could hang 28 on that defense."

Boss: "Cheer, cheer for ol' Notre Dame, let's sell some mags, there is no shame!"

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And yet another example of the power of Touchdown Jesus. Or should I say, Charlie Six Points. All of you who carped and complained and cried about the Irish renegotiating Weis' contract during his first year need to take a good, long look at the evolution of the ND program — and more specifically, Brady Quinn — in one short season. From a team (and player) no one cared about to the team we can hate again and the player who will begin the season as the clear favorite to take home that bronze sculpture.

And don't kid yourself — we hate because we're jealous of the attention, because we're envious of the stature, because, well, because we love, dammit.

Champagne and Caviar with Brady and Chas.

That's some bar mitzvah they've cooked up for Quinn in South Bend.

I'll send him 50 bucks from the money I saved on airfare.