So there’s that. Then there’s this — Mitchell said upon taking this job that one can never be sure where an investigation might lead. If this one leads him back into the 1990s, and if he uncovers enough monkey business, perhaps this would inspire baseball to adopt some kind of statistical regulation.

Not for games that have already been played. There’s only so much past an investigator can dredge up, even a crack sleuth such as Mitchell. (Did we mention he also is chairman of The Walt Disney Co., which owns ESPN, which happens to be a broadcast partner of Major League Baseball? Well, never mind. Selig has promised us that this doesn’t matter, either.)

But maybe, confronted with evidence that a great many dirty players affected the outcome of a great many games, baseball will move to discourage such dirty tactics in the future. For example, every team discovered to have used a dirty player in a game, forfeits that game. Every player on the dirty team forfeits his stats for that game.

This would provide ample motivation for teams to police their players, and for players to police themselves. And if we have to add two columns to the standings (FG for forfeited games, and DF for double forfeits), well, that’s the price of doing business in the enhanced performance age.

Finally, assuming Mitchell’s investigation ends at some point during our lifetime, and with the stipulation that no matter how it turns out, it will constitute the absolute best that baseball can (and/or wants to) do, perhaps this will lead us to some kind of closure. We’ll know what we’ll know, and we’ll know there is little chance of knowing anything beyond that.

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We’ll have a (somewhat) better idea of what happened, when it happened, and who made it happen. Baseball will have a (pitifully flawed) testing procedure in place to make sure it (hardly ever) happens again.

Congress can move on to more important issues, such as streaming video cell phone porn. Mitchell can head off in search of other interests to conflict. And next year at this time, we can obsess over something new and less exasperating.

Those new vented batting helmets, for example. What’s up with that?