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RICK MAJERUS
Occuptaion: Jovial TV color analyst
Odds: 25-1
Why he would be hired: Majerus has Indiana ties, having coached at Ball State in the 1980s. Majerus also might be bored with broadcasting, preferring to live in only one hotel in one city, rather than many hotels in many cities.
Why he wouldn’t be hired: Majerus stayed a whole six days at his last job, USC, fearing for his health. The ways things are at Indiana these days, he might not have the stamina to last that long.
BRUCE PEARL
Occupation: Tennessee coach
Odds: 30-1
Why he would be hired: Pearl has a warm spot in his heart for the state, what with the University of Southern Indiana hiring him when no one else would.
Pearl was the Linda Tripp of the NCAA, tape-recording a 1989 phone conversation with Illinois recruit Deon Thomas admitting (or Pearl badgering him to admit) he was given a Chevrolet Blazer and thousands of dollars for going there. Dick Vitale said Pearl committed "coaching suicide," so disappointed was he that he did not add a "baby!" afterward.
Pearl has proven he can coach, though, leading Southern Indiana to a Division II title in 1995, and turning around programs at Wisconsin-Milwaukee and Tennessee. A 317-84 career record is quite impressive.
Why he wouldn’t be hired: Pearl has only been at Tennessee for a year.
Plus, being back in the Big Ten probably means Pearl would have to deal with student sections waving phones and microcassette recorders at him.
ANY BIG-NAME COLLEGE COACH
Odds: 40-1
Why he would be hired: Indiana might want to make a big splash by hiring a big name. Among the popular choices in the Herald-Times poll: Gonzaga’s Mark Few, Marquette’s Tom Crean, Villanova’s Jay Wright, West Virginia’s John Beilein and Syracuse’s Jim Boeheim.
Why he wouldn’t be hired: It’s a sign of how delusional the Indiana fan base can be that they believe Boeheim is going to leave a cush situation at Syracuse for its desiccated program. For that matter, these days Gonzaga is a far better gig.
BOB KNIGHT
Occupation: Reality-television star
Odds: 50-1
Why he would be hired: Why do you think?
Why he wouldn’t be hired: Why do you think?
NORMAN DALE
Occupation: Hickory High head coach and history teacher
Odds: 75-1
Why he would be hired: Though technically a fictional character, you’ve got to admit he knows how to push a roster of generally lesser-talented players to a championship level. Like Knight, he also has found ways to help a troubled soul along the way by making him his assistant. Dale had Shooter Flatch; Knight had Norm Ellenberger and Tates Locke.
Why he wouldn’t be hired: The dirty secret of Dale’s 1951 championship run was that any coach could look good having a Jimmy Chitwood to stick the jumper running off the picket fence. Dale also would be, by my calculation, 107 years old.
MIKE DAVIS, DEAD MAN WALKING
Occupation: Lame-duck coach
Odds: 100-1
Why he would be hired: Just think of the storybook ending. Davis’ players, deciding to win one for their coach, suddenly go on a hot streak through the Big Ten tournament (held in Indianapolis, though Davis professes he doesn’t care) and into the NCAA Final Four (also held in Indianapolis, though Davis might care this time).
How could you have Davis leave on such a high note?
Why he wouldn’t be hired: That’s pretty much what happened in 2002, and all it did was keep Davis and Indiana in a generally unhappy relationship for another four years.
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