Bob Cook

Someone call Jimmy Carter, tell him to put his Habitat-for-Humanity hammer down, and get him on a plane to Indianapolis. If he could get Egypt and Israel to make peace, then there’s hope he can do the same for the Indiana Pacers and a certain Tru Warier.

That’s because it appears Ron Artest and the Indiana Pacers are stuck with each other, what with the Sacramento Kings on Thursday rejecting an Artest-for-Peja Stojakovic trade that seemed to solve all of Indiana’s Ron-Ron problems.

First, Indiana would have gotten the combustible forward out of its locker room for good. Second, in Stojakovic the Pacers would have gotten in return a player with talent, one who could have helped jolt Indiana’s often-anemic offense. Third, Indiana would have gotten some possible long-term relief for its bloated payroll, what with Stojakovic being a free agent after this season. And fourth, and most importantly, the Pacers would have buried Artest someplace where he could never hurt them again — a Western Conference team with no hope of making the playoffs.

However, the Kings said the deal had no allure once Artest announced he wanted to meet with any team trading for him. Sacramento executives, perhaps fearing Artest would jump across a conference table if someone accidentally spilled an iced tea on him, declined.

For Stojakovic, that’s OK, because Thursday morning in the Sacramento Bee he was quoted as saying he would love to sign a deal that would keep him with the Kings until the end of his career. For the Pacers, it’s not OK, especially because Artest doesn’t really want to leave the Pacers until the end of his career.

Indiana doesn’t want him, but he must go back there.

Remember, Artest quickly rescinded the early December trade request — made to the Indianapolis Star instead of team executives Donnie Walsh and Larry Bird — that the team and its fans took as a slap in the face, especially after supporting him when others wouldn’t. Namely, during his nearly season-long suspension for inciting the infamous Pacers-Pistons brawl, the Malice in the Palace, the Crowd Spills out of Auburn Hills, of Nov. 19, 2004.

Perhaps Artest rethought his off-the-top-of-his-head request after picturing fans burning their “Free Ron Artest” T-shirts, smashing their “Free Ron Artest” Christmas ornaments, and continuing not to buy his Tru Warier label’s CDs. Perhaps he can’t bear to leave his neighbors in Zionsville, Ind., including the 79-year-old lady whom he lets sing country songs in his recording studio.

Or perhaps Artest is panicked at the thought of leaving Indiana because the Pacers don’t trade players. They disappear them.

Just ask Antonio Davis, Dale Davis, Al Harrington and Brad Miller. All asked for more playing time or money. The Pacers respectfully declined, then did all they could to get the players sent elsewhere, with the goal of giving those disgruntled players a Pyrrhic victory. When Indiana trades a player, they put him in a place where he can do the least amount of damage to his old team.

Antonio Davis is paid well for his troubles, but he's bounced from Toronto to Chicago to New York with little impact after being traded after the 1999 season. Dale Davis wanted a higher profile for endorsements — so the Pacers sent him to the Hollywood of Oregon, Portland, even up for Jermaine O'Neal. (Dale Davis later came back for a spell after bouncing around more than Antonio Davis did.)