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40 things to watch for at Super Bowl XL


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An inside look at the big game.

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26. At least one old lady will approach Matt Hasselbeck and say, “I used to love you on ‘Baywatch.’”

27. A contest called “Name a Seahawk Other Than Matt Hasselbeck, Shaun Alexander or Lofa Tatupu” will be held. Nobody will win.

28. Commissioner Paul Tagliabue will deliver his annual state-of-the-league speech to the media on the Friday before the game. It will consist of him waving two fistfuls of money while laughing maniacally and then skipping away.

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29. Hines Ward will hold out from the Steelers’ team picture.

30. Out of respect and concern, the Seahawks will contact the Carolina Panthers and ask if Steve Smith has been located yet.

31. John Madden, who is jumping to NBC next year, will announce that he’s jumping to two other networks after that.

32. The mayors of Seattle and Pittsburgh will make a bet on the game involving rain and soot.

33. ABC will interview Panthers coach John Fox and Broncos coach Mike Shanahan in an effort to promote its series, “Lost.”

34. At some point during the week before the game, Bill Cowher’s chin will set off a metal detector.

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35. Because there is a two-week break before the Super Bowl, marginal players will have biographies written about them.

36. Peyton Manning will make numerous appearances at the Super Bowl, but he will be accompanied by bodyguards to protect him from the guys he said didn’t protect him against the Steelers.

37. Mick Jagger will bump into Jerome Bettis and say, “Aren’t you a little old to be doing this?”

38. Panic will break out among millions of Americans who believe our airwaves suddenly have been taken over by invaders bent on world domination until it’s explained to them that it’s only saturation coverage of the Super Bowl by ESPN.

39. All the newspapers in the country will agree to collaborate and put out one big Super Bowl special edition rather an each doing an individual one because everybody’s writing the same stuff anyway.

40. The game itself will take almost as long to play out as the season did.

Michael Ventre writes regularly for NBCSports.com and is a freelance writer in Los Angeles


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