Bob Cook

Alex Rodriguez’s tortuous vascillating over whether he would play for the United States, the Dominican Republic or not play at all in the World Baseball Classic was the most drawn-out public display of indecision since Meat Loaf repeatedly begged Ellen Foley to “let me sleep on it” as she demanded “I gotta know right now” in “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.”

Now that Rodriguez has chosen the United States, Americans can rest easy knowing their entrant in Major League Baseball’s Real World Series has filled its need for a power-hitting star who melts under pressure. The Dominican Republic team must be relieved Rodriguez chose the U.S, given that, in Vladimir Guerrero, it already has one big-name player who can consistently hit weak grounders with two men on base in a playoff situation.

Had Rodriguez not committed, the U.S. team, in desperation, might have had to fill its need for a narrow-throated superstar by picking up Peyton Manning.

That Rodriguez even had to make such a decision speaks to the contrived nature of the World Baseball Classic. In order to fill out the rosters of low-level baseball countries such as Italy and South Africa, a player could be eligible to join a national team if he had at least one parent born in that country. That’s why St. Louis’ Mark Mulder can pitch for the Netherlands, not because he’s from South Holland — Illinois.

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Perhaps Rodriguez — and Guerrero, for that matter — might shine in this event, given that representing your country hasn’t had quite the pseudo-militaristic, propagandist undertones since the Berlin Wall fell, though the U.S. government is trying by not letting Cuba into the country to play. Major League Baseball and its Players Association would consider the event a grand success if it led to a spike in Chinese Taipei’s purchases of Chipper Jones jerseys.

Speaking of Jones, maybe Rodriguez picked the U.S. squad because he is already feeling that playoff pressure, mentally practicing how to knock the ball out of the pitcher’s hand as he chases him down first base after fielding his slow roller. With the U.S., Rodriguez can defer to many more big names than he could with the Dominican Republic.

Here’s the list of American third basemen: Jones, Eric Chavez, David Wright and Morgan Ensberg. At shortstop, the U.S., on its provisional 60-man roster, has Derek Jeter, Jimmy Rollins and Michael Young. The Dominican Republic, which has historically produced shortstops like Milwaukee produces beer, is strong with Miguel Tejada, Juan Uribe, Rafael Furcal, Jhonny Peralta, Julio Lugo and Neifi Perez.

But check out third base — Adrian Beltre, Aramis Ramirez and Pedro Feliz. Hardly a slouch, but not as strong as the U.S. lineup, meaning Rodriguez would be counted on much more. If the Dominican Republic was up by four runs, great. Needing a big hit? Not so much, particularly from a player who couldn’t make up his mind whether he really was committed to the event, much less any team.

These 60-man rosters must be cut to 30 by March 3, and Rodriguez is no danger of losing his spot, even though the U.S. team would probably do quite well without him. If Rodriguez is lucky, though, roster cuts won’t even be an issue.

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That’s because tucked into a story on Major League Baseball’s web site regarding Rodriguez’s acceptance is some information intimating the World Baseball Classic might not be played at all because of the problems with Cuba. The International Baseball Federation has threatened not to sanction the event if Cuba isn’t allowed in. Puerto Rico has told the federation it will not host games if Cuba is not allowed to play, and in fact has not yet put tickets on sale for games in San Juan.

In its story, MLB.com reports that either the San Juan games will move to Canada, which would be a lovely place to play baseball in early March, or “the tournament could be pushed back a year while the Cuba issue is negotiated with the U.S. government.” Meanwhile, Fidel Castro issues Bronx cheers from Havana and tells the world the U.S. is too, well, Alex Rodriguez to play his country.

It may be that pushing the World Baseball Classic back a year would really put Rodriguez’s mind at rest — no World Baseball Classic. No choosing sides. No pressure. Then again, once it would come back next year, he might have so much time to think about it that he'll end up doing this dance of indecisiveness one more time. Like Meat Loaf, he'll give you an answer in the morning.